"But Henry, it's Father's Day..."

Today we had the Dear Husband's immediate family over for a BBQ. It was delightful and delicious.

In the course of the family discussion, good ol' Beavis and his activities came up, so we gave a basic rundown of his general behaviors. We tell them about this-here blog so that they can get a more thorough backstory.
















ANYWAY, as the DH walks his parents out to their car later in the evening, DH's mom says VERY loudly in her wonderful Bronx accent,

IS THAT THE TRUCK THAT IS ALWAYS PARKED IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE?


Ah, nice!

She's a wonderful woman, but not known for her subtlety!

The beauty of her announcement?

Beavis is out front in his driveway, playing with what appears to be his latest vehicle:
















GENIUS TIMING!


So Beavis decided to put on a show for us.

40 Miles of Bad Road was strolling back to the Beavisphere in her mile-high espadrilles and little short dress, and Beavis immediately started yelling at her. She yells back. He grabs her purse and tosses it onto the roof.

The roof!
















They stomp around their driveway, yelling, cussing, and waving their arms. Ellie Mae wanders around in between them, oblivious.

We watch this latest piece of theater quietly.

Then we go inside with no reaction.


So now we're back on Beavis' radar, and it looks like he's back on wheels.

Dammit.

Happy Father's Day, indeed!

Now It's Getting Scary

Since my last entry, Big Daddy came back into town, so events had calmed down considerably. 40 Miles of Bad Road was rarely seen, while Beavis would be spotted strolling up and down the street with little Ellie Mae. Little Sister and the Nub came by periodically to give Ma Barker rides to who knows where. Things were quiet enough to the point where I was actually moving at a pretty good clip on my freelance.

Tranquility was broken this afternoon, in a scary way.

I hear 40MBR screaming from my perch in the living room, where I was doing derby work on the big computer.

I look outside and see 40MBR screaming and crying in the street:
















She was screaming some VERY unsettling things. Mentioned getting a black eye by Beavis. That he hit her. That he was a "real man" because he hit her. That she needed to get the hell out of there. She also called him a "b!tch" a few hundred times. He bellowed back at her, but I couldn't decipher what he was saying. He followed her around and took swipes at her, but I couldn't tell if they were serious swipes or if he was just messing with her in her hysteria.

Notice that Ellie Mae was present and accounted for. Jeezus:















Beavis goes back in the house. 40MBR follows. The front door is left open, and I can hear more screaming from 40MBR. I hear things being thrown around.

Then my camera battery dies.

Dammit.

I grab the Dear Husband's camera. Its battery decides to die, too.

DAMMIT.

While I'm trying to figure out how to solve the camera problem(I don't, btw), 40MBR comes back out onto the porch...without her shorts on. She had grabbed a pair of blue jeans and was putting them on outside, still screaming and crying at Beavis, who was inside the Beavisphere abode.















I hear taptaptap from Beavis from inside the house. 40MBR turns to the window where he's apparently standing inside, waves her arms and screams,

JUST DO IT! BE A REAL MAN! SHOOT ME! YOU HAVE A GUN? JUST F***ING SHOOT ME!!!!! C'MON!!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!

Holy.

Freakin'.

SH!T.


















She starts wandering around, crying. Beavis comes back outside carrying Ellie Mae and chases 40MBR down. He yells at her. She yells back. She goes back to the house, gets her purse, and stomps off down the street. Beavis is detained by an elderly neighbor who's obviously wondering if the cops need to be called. Beavis acts like a sane adult with the neighbor, still holding Ellie Mae.

For now things are back to being quiet.

This is some disturbing sh!t if he really did pull a gun on her, for a variety of reasons.

Yet Moar Domestic Bliss...

I'm becoming addicted to staring out the window. Freelance? PHOOEY!

Beavis came busting out of Big Daddy's house this afternoon, yelling. Unfortunately I couldn't decipher what he was saying, as I had my radio turned up too loud. Dammit.

He meanders in and out of the house, continuing to bellow. Little Ellie Mae(the child formerly known as Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3) wanders aimlessly about, trying to keep up with Beavis. Poor little thing.

Eventually 40 Miles of Bad Road stomps out of the house, purse in hand, cigarette in mouth. Yeah, why stop smoking just because she's pregnant? That's just silly! Beavis follows.

40MBR stomps into the middle of the street, Beavis continues to follow...they're both snapping at each other. He takes his hoodie and smacks her with it. She waves him off and backtracks to the sidewalk to start waddling down the street. Beavis yanks her purse off her shoulder but she keeps going. He follows behind her for a ways, then turns around and goes back to Beavisphere Central.

He stomps inside, then reappears a few minutes later. He hops on a beach cruiser and starts pedaling in the direction that 40MBR was going. After a few more minutes, little Ellie Mae toddles out of the house, looking for her parents. Cute little booger. Eventually Ma Barker brings the child back into the house.

Beavis bicycles back home. 40MBR waddles back around 15 minutes later.

Ah, what harmony!

UPDATE:

A few hours later...

40MBR bursts out of the house, Beavis following. Both are screaming at each other.

40MBR grabs a bicycle and takes off. Beavis follows on the second bicycle. She swoops up and down the street, Beavis following all the while. They both go out of my sight line. A few minutes later, Beavis bicycles back.

Silence.

I try to go back to work.

Until I hear more yelling about five minutes later.

No freakin' way!

I look out the window and see 40MBR waddling back to the Beavisphere, with Beavis following. Both are on foot. She's screaming over and over, "Hit on a man, you big b!tch! HIT ON A MAN! I'M PREGNANT!" He bellows something about her smoking while pregnant.

They face off in the driveway, continuing their spat. He repeatedly taunts her by threatening to hit her.

Ellie Mae toddles out of the house. 40MBR picks her up and uses her as a shield. Seriously. Beavis almost hits the both of them. 40MBR puts Ellie Mae down, screams at Beavis, "GIVE ME MY SWEATSHIRT SO THAT I CAN GET OUT OF HERE!!!" Of course Beavis just waves the hoodie in 40MBR's face, so she just turns and stomps down the street screaming, "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!"

Beavis goes back into the house for a few minutes, then stomps back out, hops on a bicycle, and gives chase.

Ellie Mae wanders out again. She's left alone in the driveway for several minutes before Ma Barker fetches her.

Goddam.

Beavis Goes Green

The humongo black SUV is gone from the neighborhood.

Apparently Fat Pig and Homie took it back.

However, they must've given Beavis a helluva cheep price for the thing, as he hasn't been able to replace it with another vehicle that borders on working.

So he and 40 Miles of Bad Road are bicycling about.

I saw the both of them each on beach cruisers over the weekend. It's tres cute.

But apparently that's not enough.

The Dear Husband and I witnessed an altercation tonight where Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road were having a tug-of-war over her taking a bicycle.

We hear the shouting, and since I was in the art room with the computer on, I had to relocate since the computer fan was too damn loud to hear all the conversation.

40 Miles of Bad Road wants to ride the bike to visit her dad. Beavis won't let her take the bike. She begs, pleads, and cries to no avail. He makes some kind of threat, because she then screams something along the lines of, "Go ahead and kick me in the stomach! I'm just trying to do good for my daughter!" Remember, she's also knocked up with Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4.

So now we know that we can officially call Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3 "Ellie Mae", a la Beverly Hillbillies.

Beavis mutters incoherently and yanks the bicycle away from her. 40 Miles of Bad Road then wails that she can't walk to Westchester to see her dad. Well, apparently Beavis thinks she can, because he has the bicycle and he ain't driving her in either the brown worktruck or in Little Sister's old VW, both of which are still parked in front of Big Daddy's house.

40 Miles of Bad Road stomps off, apparently on her way to Westchester. I swear I was tempted to go offer a ride to her, but that would have to be one of the biggest mistakes possible for me to commit.

Ma Barker comes out and tells Beavis to "stop making a scene". Beavis barks back that "SHE STARTED IT!" She mutters some more(neither the Dear Husband or I could figure out what was being said), he replies with, "I'm not going anywhere!" as he paces between the front porch to the worktruck and back.

Things seemed to have settled down for the moment as 40 Miles of Bad Road is still gone and Beavis went back into the house. We'll see if it stays quiet.

Edit: 40MBR came quietly back to the house in a cab about an hour and a half later. No stirring in the Beavisphere since then.

I STILL need a 24/7 Camera!

Yesterday I was sitting and trying to do derby-related crap on the computer when I hear a string of expletives let loose from outside.

Beavis is back.

I look out the window to see him pacing angrily in between his front yard into the middle of the street and back again, cellphone glued to his ear. He's still yelling. To say he's infuriated is putting it mildly:

WHERE THE F&%& ARE YOU? LA TIJERA?!??!?! (silence) WHAT?!?! LA CIENEGA?!?!?!?(silence) GET YOUR @$$ BACK HERE!!!!!! (mumbling) I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR F&^%*ING JAW WHEN YOU GET BACK HERE!!!! I WANT MY S*&*# BACK NOW!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!??!?!?! (silence)LA TIJERA?!?!?!?!? YOU JUST TOLD ME LA CIENEGA A SECOND AGO, SO WHICH IS IT?!?!?!??! GET THE F*%$# BACK HERE NOW!!!

This continues for several minutes.

I don't know who he's yelling at. The latest SUV monstrosity isn't leaking oil in front of his house, and 40 Miles of Bad Road hasn't been seen since the weekend. Is she out and about in it, setting him off? I don't know. Oh, and she might be knocked up again. Save us, Jeebus!

He still paces angrily. DNA Recipient #3 toddles out of the house, following Beavis. Luckily DNA Recipient #3 has clothing covering both the top and bottom halves of its unfortunate little body. Beavis pays little mind as he finally takes the phone away from his ear, stares at this marvel of technology, and starts making outgoing calls. He occasionally throws his hands up in frustrated fury as the calls don't get through. He even hops angrily in the driveway.

As he isn't able to scream into the phone some more, he just keeps pacing, with DNA Recipient #3 continuing to follow him around. Eventually Beavis retires into the house in a dull rage, offspring in tow. End of story.

Later in the afternoon Beavis is out front again, talking to Big Daddy. The SUV and 40 Miles of Bad Road are still unaccounted for.

As of this morning the SUV is back, and all is quiet on the Beavisphere front.

It just keeps getting weirder and weirder...







UPDATE!!!!!!!!

We had THEE classic Redneck Theater tonight!

After I got back from a relaxing jog this evening, I hear Beavis yelling again. Just to bring everyone up to date...

Our Cast of Characters includes:

Beavis
40 Miles of Bad Road
Ma Barker
Little Sister
Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3
Homie
Fat Pig

and introducing: Little Sister's offspring, the Nub.

Back to our story...

I look outside and see Ma Barker, Little Sister holding the new Nub (she must've spat it out yesterday or Sunday) , and 40 Miles of Bad Road nervously pacing in the driveway. Beavis is screaming at Homie and Fat Pig, who are parked in their sporty Lexus down the street, in front of the behemoth SUV that's been leaking more oil than Iraq outputs in a week.

Here's a wide shot of the Beavisphere. You can see 40 Miles of Bad Road carrying crap that was taken out of the SUV and dumped in the front yard:
















Beavis is bellowing at Homie and Fat Pig...mostly Fat Pig. Much the same as yesterday:

GIVE ME BACK MY SH!T!! YOU FAT PIG! GO POP A PILL!!! GIMME MY MONEY, B!TCH! TRY AND LEAVE IN THAT F*&^&ING CAR! IT AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE! THAT THING EATS UP TOO MUCH DAMN GAS! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS! GIMME MY SH!T AND GET THE F&%$ OUTTA HERE! FAT PIG! FAT PIG! FAT PIG!

Et cetera, et cetera...

I guess he wasn't mad at 40 Miles of Bad Road yesterday!

Ma Barker watches the drama unfold offscreen anxiously:
















Beavis then starts taking various items out of the SUV and dumps them in the front yard of the Beavisphere. 40 Miles of Bad Road helps, baby bump and all. It's amazing what comes out of that SUV...it's like a damn clown car. Dressers, mirrors, a tire, bags of who knows what...


Homie next to the SUV. Fat Pig is to the right, offscreen:
















Homie and Fat Pig get in their car and leave after trying to start up the SUV. All is kinda quiet as Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road continue to kvetch and collect their belongings. Ma Barker and Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3 toddle around the driveway. DNA Recipient #3 tries to follow Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road as they walk down the middle of the street with their stuff transfer, crying all the while. Eventually it's roped in and taken inside the house.


Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road gathering their sh!t:

















Holy hell, a tire:
















They then go to the work truck(unmoved for weeks now and piled high with furniture)and start removing the furniture and loading it in the SUV:

















After that, they go inside. All is quiet again.



For about 10 minutes.



Homie and Fat Pig return.


I didn't see them return; I heard Beavis' yelling again.

I look outside and see this:

















Homie and Fat Pig are unloading more stuff out of their car and dumping the stuff on the grass. You can see a couple of bicycle tires by the curb in the above photo.

Beavis continues to yell, threaten, and generally be an @$$hole.


















He continues to pace around Homie and Fat Pig's car, yelling, YOU FAT F^%^ING PIG! GIMME MY MONEY, B!TCH!!! WHERE'S MY DVD PLAYER?! GO POP ANOTHER PILL! HOMIE, HOMIE, WHATEVER!!!! GET THE F$#% OUT OF HERE! GO CALL THE COPS, I DON'T CARE! CALL THE COPS! CALL THE COPS! CALL THE COPS!

He even spits at them!

Just. Amazing.

I can't hear what anyone else is saying, but whatever it is, Beavis doesn't like it. I'm seriously beginning to think that this will come to blows, so I have the phone handy to call the cops.

Finally, Fat Pig and Homie get back in their car and leave. Beavis shouts after them, YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY A MAN, YOU FAT PIG! YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY YOURSELF A MAN!!!!!!!!

Well. I guess he showed her!

It's rather dark by this time, so Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road angrily gather their belongings off of the curb and take them into the backyard.

Dang, tv should be at least half this entertaining. I'm rather amused by this, and now I understand why other people think this blog is hilarious...when it's not happening in your own neighborhood it's entertaining as hell!

New Hoss in the Stable

For the past two weeks the white peesachit pickem'up and the third baby momma, 40 Miles of Bad Road, have been conspicuously absent. Things were nice and quiet despite the fact that Beavis is still around, wandering about in front of his house at odd times of the day and night. Sometimes he'll bring out Unfortunate DNA Recipent #3, clad in a shirt and nothing else. Yep, he lets his offspring run around with no pants on. Cute!

At first we chalked it up to Little Sister appearing to move back home complete with a big ol' baby bump(we've never seen her with anything resembling a significant other, so we don't know what the circumstances of all this means).

But now we think that Beavis either sold the white pickem'up or 40 Miles of Bad Road has it, as there's now a huge black Ford Excursion lurking about the Deliverance residence:

















Here's Beavis cleaning out the back:

















Notice the faded yet fancy "for sale" painted on the back window:

















Check out the lovingly spray-painted front bumper:

















That's classy!

The monstrosity has a paper dealer plate on the back(no front plate on it at all) and leaks oil just like the white pickem'up. Nice to see that Beavis is going for a color palette change in his obnoxious vehicles. He's already annoyed our next door neighbor when he parks the gas guzzler in front of their house. He hasn't had the chance to annoy us...


...yet.

Stay tuned, for there's bound to be more stupidity right around the corner.

Habits of Others

No pix today, and I should be working, but the morning is going by so slowwwwwww...

Anyway, the husband mentioned an observation from last night:

Husband is on his bicycle near the west end of our block. He hears a car come up fast behind him, so he makes sure to move over so that said car doesn't hit him.

Turns out it's Beavis in the white peesachit truck. 

Beavis slows down. 

Husband keeps going to get the hell outta there. 

Beavis turns at the end of the block. 

Husband's still going. 

Beavis stops, put the peesachit truck in reverse, and goes back up the street he just turned onto, then turns back on our street and heads back for homebase.

He didn't do anything to Husband(thankfully), but Husband wonders if Beavis' behavior is "normal" or not.

I've seen Beavis do similiar things when I'm out jogging. He'll drive to the west end of our block and then pull a u-turn and go right back the way he came. 

From my Divorce Desk view, I'll see Beavis drive up and down our street, seemingly aimlessly. He'll stop at home, then hop back into the truck to drive up and down some more. 

What does it mean? 

I have NO IDEA.

Drugs?

Mental problems?

The  mind boggles.

Ooh, before I forget, I saw a terrific verbal spat between Beavis, 40 Miles of Bad Road(baby momma #3), and Ma Barker(Beavis' mom) at the beginning of the week.

The scene: out in the middle of the street, two doors down from my house. The white peesachit truck is parked curbside. Double-parked next to it is a dark Acura or something similiar. Triple-parked next to that is Little Sister's BMW. 

Beavis is wandering around carrying the latest victim of his DNA transfer(kid #3, wearing nothing but a diaper in the chilly early evening air), yelling. Ma Barker is yelling back. Little Sister is standing in the middle of the street. 40 Miles of Bad Road is in the truck with one of her friends. Some dude who apparently owns the Acura stands next to his car.

I can't hear what Beavis is yelling about, but I hear Ma Barker's distinctive Scottish harping, "Take the baby inside and put some clothes on her!!"

Beavis replies, "I would, but you won't let me in the house!"

Ma Barker barks back, but I can't hear what she says. In fact, all yelling becomes unintelligible at this point, but it's great fun to see Beavis pace like a caged lion with his unfortunate (and cold)child under one arm while he's yelling like a tantrum-enraged two year old. Everyone else is stalking around in the middle of the street, too. 

After about five minutes of this, Ma Barker gets in Little Sister's BMW and they drive off. Oh, Ma Barker can't/won't drive. I think this is why she has Beavis and Little Sister around so much, so that she occasionally saves money on taxi fare.

At this point, I had to go do something in the house for about a minute. When I look back outside, Beavis is gone. So is the Acura.

40 Miles of Bad Road sits in the white peesachit truck with her friend. They talk for awhile, then pull their slatternly selves out to meander back to Beavis' parents' house.

All is quiet.

Goddam, I wish I had surveillance cameras out 24/7 on those people!

One last note: the hideous dark brown worktruck is back to being parked in front of Beavis' parents' house. 

Just waiting for a chance to park in front of our house again, I'm sure. 

We've had Beavis park the white truck in front of our house, but because he uses it so much for his weird driving purposes, it's not been growing moss and we've been able to put our cars back out front. Now our immediate neighbors go out of their way to put some kind of vehicle in front of their houses to keep it a Beavis-free zone too.  

It ain't just us, apparently!

Dun Dun...Dun Dun...DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN

Monday.

I step outside.

A bright, beautiful spring day.

Gazing around, I notice that my vision isn't marred by the monstrosity that is Beavis' pickup:

















I look to the right:

















Ah, there's that peesachit now:
















I quickly turn away, not wanting to wreck my semi-good mood, my face wrinkled in disgust.

I turn to face the other direction, usually unmarred by Beavisitis:

















But....wait...what's that I see down the block?

No...

NO!

It can't be..?!

















YES IT IS!

That damn worktruck.

Apparently Beavis didn't sell it after all, but is "storing" it down the street:

















Holy shiiiiiott, what nerve.

What a nice stroller hanging out the back of the damn thing, too:

















I'm very tempted to let the latest parking victim know that they have options, but I've never spoken to them before, so it'd be weird to approach them now. Maybe I'll leave a handy-dandy note with a phone number or two for them to use?

Hmmmmmm...

Poof!

The worktruck is gone.

And when I say "gone", I mean not only is it not in front of our house rotting away, it's gonegoneGONE from the neighborhood.

We think Beavis sold the damn thing. It would explain the switched license plate, we think.

I forgot to mention that when I was taking pix of the beast(see previous blog entry) and trying to write down its VIN(conveniently obscured by a book of matches...um, illegal!), Beavis' horrible Scottish mom lurched out of the house and started screaming for Beavis to come outside to save that glorious piece o' crap from my scutiny.

Note: I don't hate Scottish people in general. I just hate her because she's such a damn negative stereotype it makes my teeth ache from me grinding them into a fine paste when I watch her try to pretend that she's a reasonable human being when I know she gave birth to that pillow-biter boy of hers.

So I started yelling back at her.

That kinda confused her.

I stomped back into the house to call LA DOT yet again. Gawd knows what that drunken sow did.

By the end of the day, the truck was gone.

Coincidence?

Maybe, but at this point I don't care.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

I come out this morning to find this:















That PUTZ BACKED INTO MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDD....

He switched license plates!
















UNFREAKIN' BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

















We filed yet another goddam report to LA Dept. of Transportation. Like it'll do any good.

If anyone has any ideas on how to get this fucktard's car outta here, I'd LOVE to hear it.

Code

Tonight Beavis is working on the worktruck in front of our house.

In the rain.

Freakin' DOOOOOOOOOSH.

Here's what LA Municipal Code says about abandoned vehicles:

Los Angeles Municipal Code 80.73.2 requires that a vehicle parked on a public street be driven at least one mile every seventy-two hours. Additionally, California Vehicle Code 22669 allows traffic officers to tow any vehicle which is inoperable and parked on City streets, constituting a public hazard. Traffic officers cannot simply tow a vehicle because a complaint has been made. The traffic officer must first observe the vehicle over a 72 hour period to determine that the vehicle has not been driven. Additionally, as a courtesy, the traffic officer will generally leave a green warning card on the vehicle, notifying the owner that the vehicle must be moved. If the vehicle has not been moved at least one mile after seventy-two hours, the vehicle can be impounded.

You know what's really handy? An online form to report abandoned vehicles!

LA DOT is useless so far

Back to our regularly scheduled entropy...

Still no action from the city regarding Beavis' gawdawful truck. Not much has changed...he still argues with the babymomma, has visitors at weird hours of the night, and is basically his usual whitetrash self.

Last week I noticed a partially-smashed can of WD-40 on top of one of the tires of the truck:
















Close-up numero uno:

















Close-up numero two-o:
















I don't know what, if anything, its presence signifies. I thought I'd document it for chuckles, though. It goes well with the baby stroller that's rotting in the truckbed, I guess. Also notice the smudged remnants of the white marks the parking enforcement people left in December when Beavis got ticketed. I don't know if they've made further marks that he just cleans off, or whether we're stuck with this sh!tpile for another eight months.


Here's a front view of the truck. I took this because the "winking" headlight is kinda cute:















Be lucky you don't have this crapacious crap in front of your house!

Happy New Year!

There's still that ugly worktruck in front of the house!

Beavis has a new "tactic". Whenever he's peeved with life, he goes to start up the worktruck. He'll let it run for about five minutes, and then puts it back to sleep again. I'm guessing the hoped-for reaction would be for us to come running out of the house in expectation that Benevolent Beavis will move the damn thing.

However, he forgot something vital in this brilliant plan of his.

We have brains, and we know that he's not moving the damn truck of his own volition.

The stalemate continues...

Still Holding

The pickup is still parked in front of the house.

Unmoved.

Unticketed.

Unbelievable.

Tenacity

After Beavis' last outburst, he's been true to his word about still not moving his truck.

Y'know, this whole thing wouldn't be worth escalating if he didn't think the neighborhood was his personal junkyard. We don't park our vehicles in front of the neighbors' houses if at all possible...and we especially don't leave vehicles for MONTHS at a time in front of anyone else's house. Rude, obnoxious, spoiled behavior. Oh, and illegal, too.

His momma should've spanked him more as a child.

A Long Winter...

For the past five weeks or so, Beavis has laid claim to the street in front of our house with his dubiously-running former work pickup that leaves oil stains all over the place:















So the husband would resort to parking in front of Beavis' mommy and daddy's house whenever we didn't feel like stacking up our cars in the driveway. That annoyed Beavis, strangely enough. Apparently "what's good for the goose is good for the brain-dead pathetic gander who's so lame he has to live with his parents" isn't said in Beavis' household.

One night we came home to this. One of Beavis' dumb@$$ friends parked behind the husband's car to make it look like he bumped bumpers:















Upon closer inspection, we see that he's not:
















So riding the line of legality is how it's gonna go? Fine by me.

He's still with the same BabyMama, but apparently things aren't going smoothly. There's a lot of in-the-middle-of-the-street verbal arguments, with a lot of her yelling, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" as he stomps around, gets into his friend's car, and roars off into the night.

Kinda interesting, but it'd be better if he moved his damn truck.


We did a little research, and made a few phone calls last week.


Yesterday we had the chance to move my car in front of Beavis' mommy and daddy's house. In fact, Beavis saw us leave in the husband's car as he was leaving in his white peesacrap truck, and purposely drove around the block to see if I moved my car into his space. I didn't. It took willpower I didn't think I had, but I left sleeping scumbag dogs lie for the moment.


This morning was bright and sunny. The usual parking scene unfolded before me:















I put on my skates and went for a beach skate. As I strode by, I saw this:















Chalk marks on the front tire of Beavis' truck.

Hmmmm...


On the way back from my lovely beach skate I see this:















Chalk marks on the rear tire of Beavis' unmoved truck.


Not only that, but there's a lovely new accessory on Beavis' windshield:

















Yep, a ticket!
















Beavis usually stops by the ol' truck once every 7-10 days to start 'er up just for snicks and giggles...I can't wait to hear the cussing when he sees the ticket!

Edit: he found the ticket. He's not happy. He started the work truck up, then let it die. I stepped out onto the porch and had a seat to watch the show. His babymama walked around aimlessly. He stomped back and forth betwixt the work truck and peesachit truck cussing wildly. He sees me and growls, I'm gonna leave that truck there all month!

It's your wallet! I point out.

That lets loose a volley of cussing that I usually hear directed towards the babymama, who had fluttered back to Loser Homebase by this time. Real grownup! I reply. WHAT?!?!?! he yells. You heard me. I reply. More cussing ensues, and then he slams the peesachit truck door shut and sloooooowwwwwly drives off down the street. The husband is going to file a complaint with the cops, just to leave a paper trail.

Idiocracy

If you haven't already, go see Mike Judge's Idiocracy. Once you do, you'll fully understand our dear neighbor Beavis and our frustration with him, for it is that movie being played out in real life, right across the street from our house!

Here's the most pertinent part of the film for your viewing pleasure, so that you get what I'm talking about...btw, the language is NSFW:




Get it now? Beavis is Clevon.

He's on Babymama #3, as far as we know. He doesn't see the other two kids he has very often, as far as we know. An upstanding father figure, to be sure. Babymama #3 is feisty. She argues with Beavis a lot out in front of his mommy and daddy's house. Sometimes they're hauling their baby around while screaming. Sometimes she's just smoking while he's angrily throwing baby furniture in and out of his peesachit truck...yelling all the while. It's great to watch while I'm working. I get a great view from the window in the art room.

I've only seen Babymama #3 up close once. I shuddered. She's not old...late twenties, perhaps. However, she has a face that perfectly describes the saying, Rode Hard and Put Away Wet. Oof! I think she's definitely the type where she saw Beavis and said to herself, The Other Girls don't understand him. I'LL change him and make him the Perfect Man! She's failed, so far. And the frustration is beginning to show on her haggard, worn features. I can't wait to see how this all plays out.

To add to the fun, I saw something interesting a couple of weeks ago. I was working in the art room(damn freelance!), and I saw a blur out of the corner of my eye. It was one of Beavis' twerpy friends running up to their house, and he quickly ran inside. Then, a large SUV with four large Mexicans drove up and screeched to a stop and got out of the car and studied the front door to Beavis' parents' house. Beavis' daddy came outside. Beavis ran up. Babymama #3 fluttered behind. I don't know what the twerpy friend did, but the large Mexicans didn't like it, apparently. However, they were thwarted by Beavis and his daddy, and they eventually drove off. Beavis' twerpy friend ran out of the house five minutes later and jumped into Beavis' peesachit truck, where Babymama #3 and Beavis were already waiting for him, ready to go. They drove off.

End of story?

Well, the next day Beavis' peesachit truck had its windshield smashed out. Ooopsie! Apparently the large Mexicans don't like being told, No, you can't go in and smash the little twerp who just ran into that house over there. Ok, bye-bye! The large SUV and the large Mexicans therein haven't been back since, as far as I know. Unfortunately Beavis parked his truck in his parents' driveway so that I couldn't get a photo of the smashed windshield before he fixed it. Ah well, I'm sure it'll happen again, knowing him!

So depending on my photographic wherewithall, I hope to record more of Idiocracy in Action. It almost makes me want to have a kid to try to counteract this crap. Almost.

Too Long

Yes, I know it's been too long since I've updated the Entropy Project. Here's the latest...

Beavis' peesachit truck hasn't been in front of our house for a couple of months now. Occasionally one of his "friends" will park in front of our house, but it hasn't lasted long.

I think our success has to do with Beavis' latest Babymama more than our keeping one of our vehicles in front of our house. She's living with him and his mommy and daddy now. Hilarity ensues! I'm going to make a separate post about this next.

Anyway, back to the entropy! As a refresher, here's Beavis' worktruck and his sister's endlessly For Sale VW:

















Aaaaand here they are, now:










See the difference? Wait, there is a difference:















The front wheel has been off of the worktruck for a couple of weeks now. I don't know what happened, as the truck hasn't moved in months. One day Beavis and a couple of his buddies took the wheel off, threw it into the back of the peesachit truck, and that's all I wrote.

Here's Beavis being a Social Butterfly a few months ago with some jerkwad in a Beetle in the middle of the street:
















The jerkwad was constantly going up and down the street and stopping to talk to Beavis for a few weeks at a time. I think he's gone though. Again, I think the Babymama had something to do with it.


And last but certainly not least:


















The ol' "Let's-park-in-front-of-the-fire-hydrant-because-we're-incredibly-stoopid" buddy. I don't know what the f#ck it is with this guy. He visits Beavis a lot. Sometimes he'll sleep in the cab of the truck if Beavis isn't home. Oh, and notice in this particular photo, the red car that's double-parked by the white pickup. Jeezus!

It was toooooo quiet...

Beavis was relatively well-behaved for a few months there, but all good things must come to an end.

I came home from derby practice to find his latest girlthing parking his truck in front of our garbage cans. WTF!??!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!???!?!?!

This has happened before, and last time the sight of me coming out with a camera made Beavis move the truck promptly. Tonight, the girlthing came out of the truck and yelled to him, "What are they doing?! They're taking pictures!!" To which our potential Rhodes scholar wittily replied, "That's what they do." The girlthing then turned to me and said, "What are you taking pictures of?" to which I replied, "Of your sh!tty parking job, honey." Beavis then yelled something about making money off the photo. Oh yeah, dude, like you're worth a plugged nickel...dream on, silly dreamer.

The husband said to me, "Why are you starting up with them?" which baffles me, since I don't park my crapacious vehicles in front of anyone else's house or garbage cans like an @$$hole.

Ah well...enjoy the photos...this is what stupidity looks like:

Another Car to Annoy

Yesterday morning brought us this sight:
































The white car parked in front of our house belongs/ed to Beavis' sister. She left it with her mommy and daddy when she moved out and somehow managed to get a BMW. Also white, btw. I don't know what it is with that family and white cars, but then again, I guess it makes a nice juxtaposition to our black cars.

Anyway, Lil' Sis has her car for sale. For the past year and a half. Yeah, she got out of the house and into her Beemer almost two freakin' years ago. The old car was sitting down the street in front of some other neighbor's house for close to six months without moving at all(sound familiar?), but Beavis moved it onto their lawn earlier this week, washed and waxed it, and parked it in front of our house. Since there's a handy sign in the window stating that the car is for sale with a phone # listed, I'm going to see if I can't help this sloooowwwwwwwwww process along.

Here is the promised pic of Beavis' fine parking job in front of the fire hydrant next door to our house. Putz!