Saturday, December 05, 2009


I haven't seen Beavis since just before Halloween.

I think he's in jail.

The DH has seen Ellie Mae a little bit with Big Daddy in the front yard of the Beavisphere, but she's kept close to home and basically under wraps.

Last Saturday I decided to take a photo of the Work Truck From Hell in all its degenerating glory:

All of the blankets and junk piled on it makes it a piece of borderline sculpture. The Joads have nothing on this.

While I was doing this, I heard the cries of a dog. There's a lot of dogs in the neighborhood and they'll bark happily or whine petulantly, but this was a sad, pained cry.

My Seestir was with me, and we look around and spot Big Daddy's dog lying in the neighbor's yard. For the sake of this blog, we'll call him, "Schlitz". Schlitz is an old dog. An OLD dog. He was around when the DH and I first moved into the neighborhood in '96, and he was an adult dog at that time.

Schlitz is a constant companion to Big Daddy. The one critter that didn't give Big Daddy a lot of grief in his life, I imagine. Man's Best Friend and all that.

But now Schlitz is in bad shape. I had noticed Schlitz out in the yard earlier in the day, but didn't think too much of it at the time. However, upon closer inspection, it's obvious that Schlitz is not doing well. When a dog just lies and cries, he needs to be taken care of.

The Seestir goes to the neighbor's house and asks them if they know about Schlitz being in their yard. They say yes, and that they've asked Big Daddy about taking better care of Schlitz, but that Big Daddy doesn't do anything to really help the dog. The neighbors are older folks themselves, and don't have the strength to move a large Labrador in pain to a car to take him to a vet.


So we call Animal Control to report a neglected animal. They take down the information and say they're going to send an officer out. We wait around for about a half hour, but we had errands to run, so we left.

We come back home about an hour and a half later. Schlitz is still lying in the neighbor's yard, but Big Daddy is seen hobbling around on a cane in the Beavisphere front yard. Big Daddy doesn't look much better than Schlitz, actually. We have no idea if Animal Control stopped by in our absence, but we watch in uncomfortable silence as Big Daddy slowly meanders over to Schlitz and tries to get the dog to come home.

Schlitz doesn't move.

Big Daddy lifts Schlitz up on his feet. Schlitz is unsteady. He wags his tail forlornly and falls back to the ground. Big Daddy goes back to the Beavisphere, gets a large towel, hobbles back to Schlitz, and constructs a makeshift sling to put under Schlitz's torso so that the dog can be brought back to the Beavisphere. Which is done slowly and painfully.

Once Schlitz is back home, Ma Barker comes out with Ellie Mae. Ma Barker takes some of the many blankets off of the Work Truck From Hell and sets up a makeshift fort for Schlitz. Both Big Daddy and Ma Barker are too decrepit to take the dog inside the house. Schlitz is settled down and left in his fort.

He cries at night. I call the cops, but they forward me to Animal Control again. All I get is a vague typical government bureacratic voice mail. FUCK! Big Daddy eventually comes out to sit with the dog.

Next day, same scenario. Don't try to get anything from any government agency on a weekend, kids. NOTHING will happen.

Monday, Big Daddy is seen sitting with Schlitz, crying.

That night Schlitz and his fort are gone.

I almost feel bad for Big Daddy, but I feel worse for Schlitz.