Wednesday, March 29, 2006

For Those Who Need to Get Up to Speed...

From March 23, 2006:

This morning Beavis, the obnoxious neighbor from across the street who insists on leaving his non-running peesa-chit pick'em up truck parked in front of our house, was trying yet again to keep the damn thing running while not actually moving it. Apparently he has a new girl, too. She looks to be the type that inspired the phrase, "tramp stamp" for the tattoo on the small of her back.

Note: I'm not saying that all women who have a tatt on the small of their backs are tramps, but this one certainly looks to be of the "tramp" variety, especially since she's knockin' boots with Beavis.

The husband actually had a conversation with her a few weeks ago when he put his old computer monitor out on the front lawn to see if it would be taken by someone, anyone, who might want a free monitor(they didn't, and so we have to dispose of the damned thing some other way). She asked if the monitor worked, he said not really, she looked disappointed and wandered off. The husband also said she'd be perfect for roller derby. Ha!

Below is a photo of Beavis' Crappy Caddy that's been parked in front of Mommy and Daddy's house for about a month without moving. Note the crap piling up in the back seat. I think some of that crap was piled in the cab of the Peesa-chit truck, but it's hard to keep track of the flotsam and jetsam that is Beavis' trash.

Another photo of the Crappy Caddy. Note the paper plate on rear window. The cheapo carjack that's keeping the trunk lid closed. The strip of duct tape that didn't work in keeping the trunk closed previous to the carjack being placed on the trunk lid. This just screams class, doesn't it? If he wasn't so old, he could've gone on Pimp My Ride with this thing and actually have something interesting done to it.

This afternoon I came back from running a couple of errands to see that Beavis has finished maintaining the Peesachit truck for the day, and has left a memento in the form of a plastic bag on our lawn. How thoughful!

I wanted to return the favor, so I took the plastic bag and threw it in the bed of the truck, where it's joining another recent acquisition, a tire. It looks so good just laying up against that crapacious surfboard, don't you think?

From March 9, 2006:

Still no news about the Derby Dolls going to SXSW, so I thought that while I'm going insane with waiting, I'd share neighbor Beavis' Entropy project.

Here we have his peesa-crap pick'em up truck parked out in front of my house. It's been there for around six weeks. It doesn't look too bad from a distance.

When one approaches the vehicle, one notices the trashbags full o' crap that are in the cab:

The sticks, dirt, and bird crap that adorn the exterior are quite becoming, don't you think?

In the truck bed there's a surfboard, doggie carrier, old oil container, sticks, and of course a Top Ramen wrapper.

Beavis' other entropy project is his Crappy Caddy. I think it might actually run, whereas the peesa-crap truck's battery is still dead. Take special note of the tie-down that's keeping the trunk closed:

If there's anyone out there that thinks that rednecks don't live in Los Angeles, they need to meet Beavis. The only difference between him and a Deliverance character is that I think Beavis has more than one tooth.