Sunday, May 29, 2011

I lied...

Remember that part where I said I wouldn't post here anymore because of the Entropy Project's conclusion? Yeah. Well, I had to include this, because it's kinda funny in a sick way.

The DH ran into our neighbors down the street, who had a semi-update on the Demise of Beavis. The story going around now is that Beavis was canoodling with a girl whose boyfriend was in jail. Said girl got pregnant and told the jailbird boyfriend that the baby was his. The jailbird boyfriend bought the story. Then the baby was born. With Beavis blond hair.


And we know what happened from there.

Now, murder is murder, and I don't condone that AT ALL. 

HOWEVER, if the above rumor is true, it somehow makes the Beavis story more...ludicrous. And more typically Beavis. He was a dude that made bad decisions no matter how you slice it.

Monday, May 16, 2011

What's Wrong With This Picture?

No, seriously, what's wrong with this picture?

I'll wait...

Did you guess that the Work Truck from Hell is gone? As in, FINALLY FUCKING GONE?!

It disappeared one weekend in late February or so.

We figured Beavis had gotten himself arrested AGAIN and finally hit some Three Strikes threshold and was sent to prison FOR REALZ. We didn't see him around, at any rate. We assumed that there was no way the Work Truck would have been gotten rid of unless Beavis wasn't coming back for a looooong time.

Big Daddy was seen wandering around outside a little bit sometimes. Ma Barker wasn't visible, but occasionally one could hear her voice through the metal screen door. Little Sister and the Nub were present on a much more regular basis. Was Ma Barker sick? Ellie Mae occasionally visited. We'd hear her crying from some sort of temper tantrum inside the Beavisphere occasionally. She would sometimes be seen outside, but not very often. Overall, the Beavisphere was the most subdued I'd ever encountered since the last time Beavis was in jail.

So, SO quiet.


Last week we found out why.

I was on my morning jog when one of our neighbors down the street was driving to work and pulled over to talk to me. He says, Did you hear about Beavis? No, I reply. He was murdered a few months ago, the neighbor says. We found out about it from one of our other neighbors down the street, but they said that he was Latino, so we didn't believe it until we found a news blog online that had a photo of him. It's definitely him, and he's definitely dead.

HOLY CRAP! NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Beavis was shot multiple times while sitting in a stolen Lexus about five miles away in Playa Vista in early February. It happened around 7am on a Friday morning while my sister and I were in the UK. No leads, no suspects. Maybe not gang related, but there are some interesting online rumors flying about what caused him to be in the wrong place at the wrong time facing the wrong end of a gun.

Comments about his involvement in drugs, trying to be a "badass", what a "standup homie" he was, he may have set fire to a truck the night before, how he loved to surf, he had a gun stuffed into the waistband of his pants, that someone needs to "fess up" with information about the shooting so that his family could have closure.

The story is fascinating. He being labeled a Latino by the coroner. I don't think I've seen him drive a car of any sort in at least two years, but he was behind the wheel of the stolen car his body was found in. Bullet casings were found on the ground next to the car. Even his age was in dispute; initial reports said he was 29. He wasn't; he was 34.

He and 40 Miles of Bad Road have three daughters together. They were engaged. He has two older sons from a different woman living in Hawaii. I remember when he moved to Hawaii with her after the first kid was born. He didn't stay away long. He never did. He always came back to the Beavisphere.

It's weird to read other sad comments on the news sites. The typical "he died too young", "he was great to talk to" (a popular phrase from women), "I hope he's finally at peace",  "he was a good guy" type of thing. I never saw any of those aspects of him; apparently neither did any of the other neighbors near the Beavisphere. I don't think the neighbor who had Beavis threaten one of his friends liked him. Or the neighbor who had Beavis drunkenly crash through their garage door. Or the childhood neighbors who apparently had items stolen from them by Beavis. And of course, us.

That damn work truck. The parties. Hitting my car when he drunkenly backed out of the Beavisphere driveway late at night and roared off into the night. Probably the time my car was broken into when I was working in Texas. The lurking outside in the middle of the night, constantly on the phone. The creepy drug customers. The empty bottles of beer left on our lawn. The fights with his girlfriends, especially 40 Miles of Bad Road. The infamous cabinet-hinge throwing incident. The Crappy Caddy full of junk. He always sounded confrontational, even when playing with his own children.

I'd be lying if I said that I never wished he'd go away FOREVER. But I can't say I truly wished death upon him. Even though I knew that if he inherited the Beavisphere, the neighborhood never would've been able to get rid of him. And our lives would've continued to be hellish. To me, FOREVER meant either he would find another woman who lived far, FAR away to go do his Beavis-y activities with, or he'd end up in jail for life. Death? Well, a possibility, but honestly? Never thought his luck would run out that way.

Is it for the best? For the neighborhood, yes. For his children, maybe. For his parents, definitely not for Ma Barker. But it's chilling to know that whomever killed him is out there. Free. More free than Beavis ever could be. But in the end I think Beavis reaped what he sowed.

With the painful harvest comes the end of needing this blog. Which is bad for entertainment and venting purposes, but good for the neighborhood's quality of life. I do feel bad for his kids.

And with that, I bid a goodbye full of mixed emotions. 

Now you can recommend your favorite Neighbors From Hell blogs to me for a change.