Saturday, December 13, 2008

You Should See the Other Guy!

Last night as I was getting ready to go to the Animation Guild annual holiday party(which was fun as fuck), I heard a big loud diesel truck-thing. Turned out it was a tow truck, and it had pulled into the Beavisphere's driveway. It was there for a long time, and I lost track of its presence as I continued to try and look like a girl for once in my miserable life.

As the husband and I were leaving for the party, we see that the tow truck is gone, and Big Daddy's pickemup truck is in the driveway with the front end bashed in.

WTF?!?!?!

Today I got a better view of it:
































OWCH!!!

Don't know what happened, where it happened or how it happened, but it sure as sh!t happened. Big Daddy was wandering around looking just fine, so apparently he wasn't injured. I wonder how long the truck will be there...now that I think about it, he couldn't take it to a shop last night because they were all closed by the time the tow truck must've shown up.

I guess he'll be around the Beavisphere a little more than we all anticipated!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I'm Bored

I was distractedly watching a fun dvd set called, Forbidden Hollywood which features films that were made in the very early 1930's before the Production Code went into full effect. Needless to say, there were some films that were smutty...for the time.

Anyway, I got distracted by loud music with an insane bass track, and I look outside to see this:















The Expedition that Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road have been running around in lately. They weren't driving it today; some fat dude with a bandanna on his head was. Whatever.

Beavis and Fat Dude talked for awhile, then Fat Dude pulled the SUV into the Beavisphere driveway. 40MBR and Ellie Mae came wandering out. 40MBR went to their portable storage unit, aka the rotting worktruck:















There isn't really a way to lock up the worktruck, but Beavis has to jerryrig his way in anyway:















Lookit the Happy Family!
















I got distracted by my own work, so I got back to it.



A little later, I see this:















Beavis carrying a coffee table. The table was left out in front of the next door neighbor's house. I saw it earlier in the day and it looked pretty cool, but I figured something must've been wrong with it for it to be abandoned like it was.


Beavis carried the table to the grass-clippings bin that was conveniently out front and put in on top of the bin.















However, he put the table back out in No Man's Land about 15 minutes later:
































Then about an hour after that, some dude came along and grabbed the table:















And happily drove off with it:
















One thing I've noticed is that Big Daddy isn't around. Crap. That means Beavis and his brood will continue to be around more often. Welp, hopefully that'll just mean that I'll get more funny photos of a benign nature, and not have any actual interaction with that prick.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Upswing

40 Miles of Bad Road seems to be back, sans Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4. We still have no idea what happened with the tyke.

The thing is, it appears that Beavis, 40 MBR and Ellie Mae have been living off-site for the past week or so, but visit the Beavisphere often. They're now driving in a SUV that seems to be less junky than previous Beavismobiles. I have a feeling that 40MBR secured the SUV instead of Beavis:
















I think this photo is hilarious...Beavis is Sham-Wowing the car while 40MBR is sitting in it:

















On Friday I spied 40MBR moving endless bags o' stuff from the rotting worktruck to the SUV:

































































Eventually Beavis moved the SUV into the driveway:
















And of course washed it. He loves washing vehicles:
















Don't know if this domestic "bliss" will last, but I do know that when Beavis is doing "well", he's less likely to hang around mommy and daddy's house, which is VERY good for me! Upswing away, dammit!


Yesterday evening while I was prepping for my birthday party, I hear yelling from the street. Oh noes! I thought to myself as I ran to the window to look out to see what was going on.

It was Beavis and 40MBR having an argument in the middle of the street. Yeah, shocking.

I could only hear parts of the conversation, but something about some girl stealing Beavis' stuff was brought up. And that 40MBR was behaving badly at Greg's house...whatever that means. There was a lot of profanity mixed in with a lot of mumbling in between outbursts of said profanity. They eventually all angrily got in the SUV and drove off.


I hear that some of my partygoers were greatly amused to see the rotting worktruck up close and personal last night. I understand that there's photos. I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


EDIT:















I peed myself a little when I got this photo from laughing so hard!

A suggestion for future photosnappers: go to the front of the truck to get in the real decreptitude of the entropy. The front right tire is still completely flat and one of the headlights is about to fall off, so it looks like the truck is winking.

Oh, and apparently I have to explain the quality of my photos. Remember, I'm usually taking photos of the action from inside my house, where I have screens over the windows. Hence the fine mesh distorts the crispness of the Redneck Theater. Just pretend that you drank about 400 PBR's and it'll look "normal".

Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Reappearances

Last week I saw this:
































Weird to see Beavis with a computer. I wonder if the keyboard has pictures instead of letters on it so that he comprehends...


But more importantly...

40 Miles of Bad Road made a brief reappearance!

































She came by last Saturday to visit with Ellie Mae. Beavis and 40MBR were civil to each other...no arguing, etc.

As you can see, Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4 is no longer inside of 40MBR. We don't know where UDNAR#4 is...it wasn't with 40MBR.

















Jeezus, but that woman has earned her nickname.



The three of them went wandering off down the street after about a half hour:
















And about 15 minutes after they left, Beavis and Ellie Mae came back:
















Thanksgiving and rain have been keeping further Beavis activity on the quiet side. Woohoo!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Suburban Bliss

Big Daddy is still around quite often, so Beavis' activities are curtailed to a certain extent.

But not completely.

Beavis has caught on to the Parking Ticket Game, and so he regularly washes the worktruck to make it look like it's taken care of. Nevermind that it still has a flat tire:

















Oh look, he's spiffying up the windows!
















He still is a jerkface, though.

Thursday night both the Dear Husband and I caught snippets of one of Beavis' cellphone conversations that he likes to have as he paces around outside the Beavisphere. Something about him hanging out with his friends and threatening someone. He then pleads with the guy he's talking to to not call the cops. 'Cos dawg, he's gonna beat the sh!t outta the someone he threatened. He says dawg a lot. Since he's so...gangsta and all.

He then went on to say that the action was coming to our street.

Yikes.

But nothing happened. Big Daddy came home and put the kaibash on Beavis' roamings.



On Friday he was back to hanging out in front of the house while Ellie Mae wandered around, barely attended to:
















Ellie Mae's been known to wander off quite often when left to her own devices. Usually Ma Barker has to go and fetch Ellie Mae from one of the neighbor's yards. 40 Miles of Bad Road still is not around, nor is her latest offspring. We still don't know what happened to her.



EDIT: Sunday, Nov. 16: This morning I stumbled around the house and heard Beavis even though I was inside my house. He was helping some dude wash a blazer-type of vehicle parked in front of the Beavisphere and talking loudly. Something about "my sh!t that got stolen" by some guy. I hear a woman's voice, but I never saw her, just heard her voice. I don't think it was 40MBR.

Beavis argued with her. Ellie Mae wandered back and forth along the sidewalk. The blazer dude kept detailing the blazer. I caught different snippets of conversation about Beavis' stolen stuff, and that she's a backstabber because she let the dude take Beavis' stuff and still hangs out with the guy. Or something. Hmmmm. This went on for at least a half hour. Then they all piled into the blazer and left.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Quiet Time

Beavis is still around, but is mighty quiet.

40 Miles of Bad Road is still gone, which probably contributes greatly to the quiet.

A couple of days ago I looked out the window and saw this domestic scene of Beavis enjoying the sunshine while Ma Barker wandered in and out of the Beavisphere:


















Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaitaminute, Beavis has the mental capacity to use a computer?!? Color me shocked:

















Beavis has had a few "friends" over when he needs help getting to and fro. The below was taken yesterday after the pickup pulled up and Beavis hopped out. He then gathered one of his bicycles from the truckbed and hung out with the guy who drove the truck:
















When Beavis manages to pull himself away from the Beavisphere, it's usually on bicycle, and then apparently gets rides back home from the buddies. Whatever.


This morning I woke up around 5am(not sleeping well due to terminally ill kitty), looked outside and saw Beavis lurking:
















I'm used to him doing that at night...it's creepy seeing him out so early in the morning doing the same damn thing.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I know, I know...

Yes, it's been forever and a day since I last updated Redneck Theater. Let's see if I can remember everything...

About three weeks ago Big Daddy, Ma Barker, Ellie Mae and 40 Miles of Bad Road left the Beavisphere. Apparently Big Daddy, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae went on vacation for two weeks. I have no idea what happened to 40MBR or the latest little unfortunate bun in her oven.

She hasn't been back.

While the above cats were away, Beavis the mouse did play. The first week he was without adult supervision, he did what we expected him to...he had all kinds of different scumbags coming to his daddy's house at all hours of the day and night.
















Not only were they scummy, they were fat and ugly too:















They would party up a storm at night. The front door would be left wide open, and different colorful characters would shuffle in and out at a constant rate. They would be a little loud, but not enough to justify calling the cops. Dammit.

At one point, the Dear Husband heard some loud arguing in the middle of the night. It's Beavis and a woman, presumably 40MBR. The DH hears the sound of someone being hit, and crying and yelling ensues. As usual, the cops aren't brought in to arrest the scumbag. I ask the DH if it really was 40MBR, since she's been conspicuously absent. He shrugs...who else would put up with that? Hmmmm.

Also, Beavis has been getting around by borrowing different vehicles. See the sporty little mini-pick'em up truck he had a buddy bring by while Big Daddy was gone:

















And this lovely Buick:
















About a week and a half in, Beavis suddenly quieted down. By the end of the second week, Choirboy Beavis was in full effect. Big Daddy, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae came back home after two weeks of Seeing What Our Future Holds If Big Daddy Dies Before Ma Barker HELL.
















I was actually relieved when the rest of the family came back and some sort of "normalcy" resumed...complete with Little Sister getting her BMW back, as you can see in the above photo.

While the family was gone and the different assorted colorful characters were parading around the neighborhood, one new fresh face was seen even after "normalcy" had resumed:
















A closer peek at the young, uh, "lady" who's stupid enough to hang out with Beavis:















Christ.



Whenever I see Beavis out in front of the house, I usually can't hear what he's saying because he's wayyyyy across the street and stuff. The DH would come into the art room and ask me, but I'd tell him testily that how can I get a better idea of what's going on if I can't hear the conversations he's having?

So the DH got me this:















Yep, one of those listening devices. The one he got me doesn't work that well...whenever I point it in Beavis' general direction, all I hear is Ellie Mae's constant crying. Phooey. Well, not true...today Beavis was talking to a buddy in a car. The buddy was about to leave, but waited for a guy on a unicycle to wobble by. Beavis encouraged the buddy to "just go for it!" in regards to the unicyclist. What a guy!

So now I'm officially the neighborhood Mrs. Kravitz:

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Hmmmm...

Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road are beginning to venture out more.

On Monday I was coming back from a beach skate, and when I was about two blocks away from the house, I spotted Beavis pushing Ellie Mae's stroller down the street in front of me, going in the same direction that I was heading, so his back was to me.

Oh crap! I thought. Do I turn around and go home a different way? Do I skate by and swat him in the back of the head? Or do I just skate by and ignore the scumbag?

I picked Option #3.

And nothing happened that I know of...he probably said something charming and sociable, but since I had my mp3 player on at full blast, I would've missed whatever delightful and neighborly greeting he would've had for me.

After I passed him and a sleepy-looking Ellie Mae, I noticed there was a woman standing on the corner of the block.

It was 40MBR. Just standing there, leaning up against a Post Office mail drop off box, apparently waiting for Beavis and Ellie Mae.

Weird!

I skate by her, and she barely takes notice of me. She's still pregnant, so when I saw Beavis holding an infant days ago, it must've been Little Sister's Nub he had in his grasp.

Then yesterday, I look outside and see this:
















40MBR is sitting in the Worktruck from Hell.




Just sitting:



















Doing nothing:
















Wtf?!?!?


Beavis ventures out a little later and starts tinkering with the truck. I don't know if he's sincere in trying to pull a Lazarus on the damned thing, or is just rattling sabers.

















They were out there for awhile, pretending to be industrious on the truck. I got preoccupied with life, so I don't know when they shut the truck up and went back into the Beavisphere.

I just wonder if he's actually going to try to resurrect the horrible beast!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Smalltime

Beavis has been laying low, but is still around. How do I know this?

He pushed the pickup around in front of the Beavisphere:
















Last week the truck was way closer to the driveway curb. It's been pushed forward almost to the spot it was in when the Parking Enforcement Lady marked it up:

















The right front tire was not fixed like I thought it was. He's been getting around taxi-style:

















The day before yesterday, I was trying to be sly and get a better shot of the truck from the front porch. As I was doing this, little Ellie Mae wandered into view:
















I slipped back into the house, as I foolishly thought there would be some adult supervision coming to get her at any second.

I was wrong.


She went wandering down the street. Much like Beavis was left to do when he was her age, I suspect:




















Ellie Mae was left to her own devices for a good five minutes if not longer. Here's she wandering around in the yard of a house two doors down from the Beavisphere:

















Ma Barker finally shuffles outside to see where little Ellie Mae wandered off to. She sees her, but doesn't go after her. She just calls her name repeatedly from the driveway:


















At least Ellie Mae is obedient and runs back:


















They go back into the house. Then end.

















I don't know where Beavis was in all this. Or 40 Miles of Bad Road. Haven't seen 40MBR at all, now that I think about it.

I feel really bad for Ellie Mae, as she's a real innocent in all this. She's gonna be hell when she hits puberty.