Monday, October 13, 2008

I know, I know...

Yes, it's been forever and a day since I last updated Redneck Theater. Let's see if I can remember everything...

About three weeks ago Big Daddy, Ma Barker, Ellie Mae and 40 Miles of Bad Road left the Beavisphere. Apparently Big Daddy, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae went on vacation for two weeks. I have no idea what happened to 40MBR or the latest little unfortunate bun in her oven.

She hasn't been back.

While the above cats were away, Beavis the mouse did play. The first week he was without adult supervision, he did what we expected him to...he had all kinds of different scumbags coming to his daddy's house at all hours of the day and night.

Not only were they scummy, they were fat and ugly too:

They would party up a storm at night. The front door would be left wide open, and different colorful characters would shuffle in and out at a constant rate. They would be a little loud, but not enough to justify calling the cops. Dammit.

At one point, the Dear Husband heard some loud arguing in the middle of the night. It's Beavis and a woman, presumably 40MBR. The DH hears the sound of someone being hit, and crying and yelling ensues. As usual, the cops aren't brought in to arrest the scumbag. I ask the DH if it really was 40MBR, since she's been conspicuously absent. He shrugs...who else would put up with that? Hmmmm.

Also, Beavis has been getting around by borrowing different vehicles. See the sporty little mini-pick'em up truck he had a buddy bring by while Big Daddy was gone:

And this lovely Buick:

About a week and a half in, Beavis suddenly quieted down. By the end of the second week, Choirboy Beavis was in full effect. Big Daddy, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae came back home after two weeks of Seeing What Our Future Holds If Big Daddy Dies Before Ma Barker HELL.

I was actually relieved when the rest of the family came back and some sort of "normalcy" resumed...complete with Little Sister getting her BMW back, as you can see in the above photo.

While the family was gone and the different assorted colorful characters were parading around the neighborhood, one new fresh face was seen even after "normalcy" had resumed:

A closer peek at the young, uh, "lady" who's stupid enough to hang out with Beavis:


Whenever I see Beavis out in front of the house, I usually can't hear what he's saying because he's wayyyyy across the street and stuff. The DH would come into the art room and ask me, but I'd tell him testily that how can I get a better idea of what's going on if I can't hear the conversations he's having?

So the DH got me this:

Yep, one of those listening devices. The one he got me doesn't work that well...whenever I point it in Beavis' general direction, all I hear is Ellie Mae's constant crying. Phooey. Well, not Beavis was talking to a buddy in a car. The buddy was about to leave, but waited for a guy on a unicycle to wobble by. Beavis encouraged the buddy to "just go for it!" in regards to the unicyclist. What a guy!

So now I'm officially the neighborhood Mrs. Kravitz:



I just found your blog through the Fedora Lounge and just spent 2 hours reading the insanity. It's 2:30 am, I must be crazy. I have a friend in Chicago and she has very similar problems with neighbors in her apartment buiding.

RedDiabla said...

You think YOU'RE crazy? ;)