Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Summer Season

Big Daddy must've been putting something in the water at the ol' Beavisphere, because activity had been nonexistent for the month of July. The most noise I'd heard lately is the yard work and house clean up that the neighbor two doors down is doing.

I'd see Big Daddy around, and sometimes Ma Barker would sit on the porch with little Ellie Mae perched on her lap, but other than that, no fights, no threats, no wondering if I need to call the police, as Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road haven't been seen at all.

Today was a rare spotting of Beavis and still-knocked-up 40MBR in their natural habitat, the driveway:

Kinda bizarre to not see them arguing and chasing each other around the neighborhood.

A surprisingly domesticated Beavis following 40MBR as he pushes Ellie Mae's stroller down the street:

This domestic scene was short-lived, however...

When the Dear Husband got home from work this evening, 40MBR was sitting forlornly by the fire hydrant next to our driveway. She was there for a while, then disappeared while we were busy doing useful stuff inside the house.

Then around 10:20pm tonight, the Summer Hiatus of Redneck Theater abruptly came to an end.

I hear yelling.

Oh Joy!!

Beavis is yelling at 40MBR in their driveway:

Where's my mom?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

40MBR is yelling back:

Where's your daughter?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

They keep yelling this at each other over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until 40MBR picks up a beach cruiser in the yard and pedals off down the street.

Big Daddy then enters from stage left, bellowing from within the house:


Which sets Beavis spewing forth:



Big Daddy calls Beavis a caulksucker and taunts him with:


again, repeatedly.

Holy HELL, that's freakin' HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They continue back and forth for a few minutes until Big Daddy abruptly shuts off the porch light and retreats back into the house.

Beavis stumbles to the edge of the lawn and sits down. He appears drunk. Greeeeeeat.

40MBR comes back.

Beavis still wants his mommy.

He keeps saying, 'Where's Ellie Mae? Where's my mom?!?!?!?!?"

Apparently they're at Little Sister's place.

GET HER ON THE PHONE!!!! He bellows.

For whatever reason, she can't be reached on the phone.

So Beavis wanders around, muttering.

A light-colored car comes down the street. He thinks it's Little Sister's car and he throws a rock at it!


The car turns and comes back, and three guys step out. They sound Latino as they ask, WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!

Of course Beavis escalates the situation while 40MBR apologizes profusely.

Oh, and she mentions that Beavis is her husband.


The dudes in the car aren't amused by Beavis' drunken antics, and so they call him a girl and threaten to beat him up. He threatens to beat them up. They then say, this is where you live? WE'LL BE BACK.

That's when we called the cops.

The guys leave.

Beavis is still being an @$hole.

Another car comes by, and Beavis throws another rock.

The car swerves and keeps going.

DAMMIT, WHERE ARE THE COPS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!

Finally, Little Sister drives by but doesn't pull into the Beavisphere driveway...she stops down the street, out of our line of sight.

However, it's not out of our earshot.

Beavis is yelling and whistling for the guys in the first car to come back. He then turns his attention to Little Sister.

He starts screaming at her in the middle of the street, STILL calling for his mom.

He makes James Cagney in White Heat look like a he-man of epic proportions.

Little Sister's friend pulls Little Sister's car into the Beavisphere driveway while Little Sister and 40MBR try to calm Beavis down. No luck.


the cops show up.

Apparently the second guy that Beavis hit with the rock also called the cops.


Beavis got arrested.


Little Sister and 40MBR walk back to the Beavisphere. They chat for a few minutes(couldn't hear what they were saying because of a helicopter that kept circling the SM airport), then Little Sister goes to talk to Big Daddy.

That's when I find out that Beavis already had an outstanding arrest warrant. WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Big Daddy grouses about how the last time Beavis got arrested, Big Daddy had to spend $3,000 getting him out of jail without so much as a thank you. Little Sister reminded him that Ma Barker spent $20,000 on a lawyer and didn't get a thank you for that.

What a Good Boy!

Big Daddy continues to kvetch about Beavis' behavior tonight...I missed the part where Beavis was drunkenly threatening the cab driver that brought him to the Beavisphere, and so Big Daddy had to come out and pay off the cab driver before sh!t went down. That's apparently when Beavis started threatening Big Daddy. Big Daddy told Little Sister that if Beavis hadn't been drunk, he would've kicked Beavis' @$.


Another helicopter flies around so I miss more conversation. All this time 40MBR is standing out in the street, leaned up against the non-running worktruck. When the copter leaves, I hear Big Daddy say something along the lines of, Her mom don't want her, her dad don't want bad it must be when your own parents don't want you? Are they talking about 40MBR? I don't know.

40MBR is picked up and has left. Big Daddy and Little Sister are still talking out front.

What a weird, wild night it's been!

1 comment:

Ninamree said...

What happened to poor little Ellie Mae?
So, are you low profile or are you the Mrs. Kravitz on the block ;)