The Entropy Project

I lied...

2011-05-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

Remember that part where I said I wouldn't post here anymore because of the Entropy Project's conclusion? Yeah. Well, I had to include this, because it's kinda funny in a sick way.

The DH ran into our neighbors down the street, who had a semi-update on the Demise of Beavis. The story going around now is that Beavis was canoodling with a girl whose boyfriend was in jail. Said girl got pregnant and told the jailbird boyfriend that the baby was his. The jailbird boyfriend bought the story. Then the baby was born. With Beavis blond hair.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS.

And we know what happened from there.

Now, murder is murder, and I don't condone that AT ALL.

HOWEVER, if the above rumor is true, it somehow makes the Beavis story more...ludicrous. And more typically Beavis. He was a dude that made bad decisions no matter how you slice it.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

2011-05-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

No, seriously, what's wrong with this picture?

I'll wait...

Did you guess that the Work Truck from Hell is gone? As in, FINALLY FUCKING GONE?!

It disappeared one weekend in late February or so.

We figured Beavis had gotten himself arrested AGAIN and finally hit some Three Strikes threshold and was sent to prison FOR REALZ. We didn't see him around, at any rate. We assumed that there was no way the Work Truck would have been gotten rid of unless Beavis wasn't coming back for a looooong time.

Big Daddy was seen wandering around outside a little bit sometimes. Ma Barker wasn't visible, but occasionally one could hear her voice through the metal screen door. Little Sister and the Nub were present on a much more regular basis. Was Ma Barker sick? Ellie Mae occasionally visited. We'd hear her crying from some sort of temper tantrum inside the Beavisphere occasionally. She would sometimes be seen outside, but not very often. Overall, the Beavisphere was the most subdued I'd ever encountered since the last time Beavis was in jail.

So, SO quiet.

BLISSFULLY quiet.

Last week we found out why.

I was on my morning jog when one of our neighbors down the street was driving to work and pulled over to talk to me. He says, Did you hear about Beavis? No, I reply. He was murdered a few months ago, the neighbor says. We found out about it from one of our other neighbors down the street, but they said that he was Latino, so we didn't believe it until we found a news blog online that had a photo of him. It's definitely him, and he's definitely dead.

HOLY CRAP! NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Way.

Beavis was shot multiple times while sitting in a stolen Lexus about five miles away in Playa Vista in early February. It happened around 7am on a Friday morning while my sister and I were in the UK. No leads, no suspects. Maybe not gang related, but there are some interesting online rumors flying about what caused him to be in the wrong place at the wrong time facing the wrong end of a gun.

Comments about his involvement in drugs, trying to be a "badass", what a "standup homie" he was, he may have set fire to a truck the night before, how he loved to surf, he had a gun stuffed into the waistband of his pants, that someone needs to "fess up" with information about the shooting so that his family could have closure.

The story is fascinating. He being labeled a Latino by the coroner. I don't think I've seen him drive a car of any sort in at least two years, but he was behind the wheel of the stolen car his body was found in. Bullet casings were found on the ground next to the car. Even his age was in dispute; initial reports said he was 29. He wasn't; he was 34.

He and 40 Miles of Bad Road have three daughters together. They were engaged. He has two older sons from a different woman living in Hawaii. I remember when he moved to Hawaii with her after the first kid was born. He didn't stay away long. He never did. He always came back to the Beavisphere.

It's weird to read other sad comments on the news sites. The typical "he died too young", "he was great to talk to" (a popular phrase from women), "I hope he's finally at peace", "he was a good guy" type of thing. I never saw any of those aspects of him; apparently neither did any of the other neighbors near the Beavisphere. I don't think the neighbor who had Beavis threaten one of his friends liked him. Or the neighbor who had Beavis drunkenly crash through their garage door. Or the childhood neighbors who apparently had items stolen from them by Beavis. And of course, us.

That damn work truck. The parties. Hitting my car when he drunkenly backed out of the Beavisphere driveway late at night and roared off into the night. Probably the time my car was broken into when I was working in Texas. The lurking outside in the middle of the night, constantly on the phone. The creepy drug customers. The empty bottles of beer left on our lawn. The fights with his girlfriends, especially 40 Miles of Bad Road. The infamous cabinet-hinge throwing incident. The Crappy Caddy full of junk. He always sounded confrontational, even when playing with his own children.

I'd be lying if I said that I never wished he'd go away FOREVER. But I can't say I truly wished death upon him. Even though I knew that if he inherited the Beavisphere, the neighborhood never would've been able to get rid of him. And our lives would've continued to be hellish. To me, FOREVER meant either he would find another woman who lived far, FAR away to go do his Beavis-y activities with, or he'd end up in jail for life. Death? Well, a possibility, but honestly? Never thought his luck would run out that way.

Is it for the best? For the neighborhood, yes. For his children, maybe. For his parents, definitely not for Ma Barker. But it's chilling to know that whomever killed him is out there. Free. More free than Beavis ever could be. But in the end I think Beavis reaped what he sowed.

With the painful harvest comes the end of needing this blog. Which is bad for entertainment and venting purposes, but good for the neighborhood's quality of life. I do feel bad for his kids.

And with that, I bid a goodbye full of mixed emotions.

Now you can recommend your favorite Neighbors From Hell blogs to me for a change.

The Cycle Starts Again...

2010-08-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

Beavis was kept under fairly severe wraps since he got out of jail, but he's starting to revert back to his usual Beavisesque ways.

The main manifestation of this is his late night loitering in front of the Beavisphere. He's constantly on the phone. I usually see him when I get home from practice, pacing on the sidewalk, talking loudly.

Occasionally the latest dumb idiot girl who thinks she can make a man out of him will be there, too. She drives a huge SUV and is a petite brown-haired girl. I think I saw her before Beavis' most recent trip to the pen, so she's stone cold stupid to stick around this long. I have to come up with a good nickname for her, unless Stone Cold Stupid sticks.

Little Sister and the Nub are often visiting. I hardly see Ellie Mae. I don't think she's old enough for preschool, and I don't think she's figured out how to run away from home...yet.

I imagine life will get "interesting" again in a few months.

O NOES

2010-07-04T12:37:00.001-07:00

Beavis is back.

He's skinnier and stands taller compared to when we saw him last, but he's definitely back.

I'm sure this blog will perk up soon.

DAMMIT.

Still Quiet...

2010-04-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

Beavis is still in jail.

Ellie Mae is occasionally seen on her tricycle in the front yard of the Beavisphere, all alone. Big Daddy and Ma Barker gave Ellie Mae a hideous haircut...her long, blonde baby hair locks are gone. She has a short boyish cut that doesn't suit her at all.

A couple of weeks ago I walked to the mailbox. On the way back, I see Ellie Mae on her usual trike in her usual spot on the Beavisphere driveway. She looks over at me, and blows a raspberry. I had to laugh...that poor kid! I'd be wanting to blow myself up if I had a family like hers who gave me a shitty haircut!

Gugh!!!!!!

2010-01-13T08:00:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I woke up extremely cranky and upset.

Why?

I dreamed about Beavis.

NO SHIT.

In real life, he's still not around...I assume he's still in jail. Ellie Mae is occasionally seen with Big Daddy, and an exceptionally rare glimpse of Ma Barker is caught every once in a blue moon.

But apparently my subconscious is bugging me.

I dreamt that Beavis was out of jail and out to kill me.

NO SHIT.

While I was sitting at home freaking out about this, I then dreamt that Ma Barker and Ellie Mae came to the house and gave me a Yorkshire Terrier puppy as an apology.

NO SHIT.

I then suddenly woke up.

I have no idea what the dream means, but it creeps me out.

sigh

2009-12-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen Beavis since just before Halloween.

I think he's in jail.

The DH has seen Ellie Mae a little bit with Big Daddy in the front yard of the Beavisphere, but she's kept close to home and basically under wraps.

Last Saturday I decided to take a photo of the Work Truck From Hell in all its degenerating glory:

All of the blankets and junk piled on it makes it a piece of borderline sculpture. The Joads have nothing on this.

While I was doing this, I heard the cries of a dog. There's a lot of dogs in the neighborhood and they'll bark happily or whine petulantly, but this was a sad, pained cry.

My Seestir was with me, and we look around and spot Big Daddy's dog lying in the neighbor's yard. For the sake of this blog, we'll call him, "Schlitz". Schlitz is an old dog. An OLD dog. He was around when the DH and I first moved into the neighborhood in '96, and he was an adult dog at that time.

Schlitz is a constant companion to Big Daddy. The one critter that didn't give Big Daddy a lot of grief in his life, I imagine. Man's Best Friend and all that.

But now Schlitz is in bad shape. I had noticed Schlitz out in the yard earlier in the day, but didn't think too much of it at the time. However, upon closer inspection, it's obvious that Schlitz is not doing well. When a dog just lies and cries, he needs to be taken care of.

The Seestir goes to the neighbor's house and asks them if they know about Schlitz being in their yard. They say yes, and that they've asked Big Daddy about taking better care of Schlitz, but that Big Daddy doesn't do anything to really help the dog. The neighbors are older folks themselves, and don't have the strength to move a large Labrador in pain to a car to take him to a vet.

Damn.

So we call Animal Control to report a neglected animal. They take down the information and say they're going to send an officer out. We wait around for about a half hour, but we had errands to run, so we left.

We come back home about an hour and a half later. Schlitz is still lying in the neighbor's yard, but Big Daddy is seen hobbling around on a cane in the Beavisphere front yard. Big Daddy doesn't look much better than Schlitz, actually. We have no idea if Animal Control stopped by in our absence, but we watch in uncomfortable silence as Big Daddy slowly meanders over to Schlitz and tries to get the dog to come home.

Schlitz doesn't move.

Big Daddy lifts Schlitz up on his feet. Schlitz is unsteady. He wags his tail forlornly and falls back to the ground. Big Daddy goes back to the Beavisphere, gets a large towel, hobbles back to Schlitz, and constructs a makeshift sling to put under Schlitz's torso so that the dog can be brought back to the Beavisphere. Which is done slowly and painfully.

Once Schlitz is back home, Ma Barker comes out with Ellie Mae. Ma Barker takes some of the many blankets off of the Work Truck From Hell and sets up a makeshift fort for Schlitz. Both Big Daddy and Ma Barker are too decrepit to take the dog inside the house. Schlitz is settled down and left in his fort.

He cries at night. I call the cops, but they forward me to Animal Control again. All I get is a vague typical government bureacratic voice mail. FUCK! Big Daddy eventually comes out to sit with the dog.

Next day, same scenario. Don't try to get anything from any government agency on a weekend, kids. NOTHING will happen.

Monday, Big Daddy is seen sitting with Schlitz, crying.

That night Schlitz and his fort are gone.

I almost feel bad for Big Daddy, but I feel worse for Schlitz.

TRICK!

2009-11-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

Halloween was pretty boring for us...we stayed home and handed out candy to the hoardes of kids that came tromping through the neighborhood. They started around 5pm and went until past 10pm.

One of the cutest kids came to our door fairly early...around 7:30 or so. He was dressed as Humpty Dumpty. We handed him a piece of candy and he wanted to come inside our house. His mom gently told him to come with her. He abruptly turned around and stepped towards her. This looked so funny in his amazing egg costume that we laughed. He abruptly turned around back towards us and happily stared at us. This happened about three more times.

I kept saying how cute he was. And he was. His mom then said, You can come see him anytime...we live right across the street. That's when we realized that we were face-to-face with Little Sister and the Nub! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Sister was dressed as either Alice in Wonderland or Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Ellie Mae was also present and was dressed as a princess or something unoriginal(all the girls this year were princesses or fairies...BOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!)and was quiet as a mouse. Beavis was nowhere to be seen. Thank goodness!

As far as we know, this was the first year that Ellie Mae has been taken trick-0r-treating in our neighborhood. The poor little thing looked scared, but I don't know whether it's because she was freaked out by Halloween in general or by coming up to our house in particular.

We'll see where all this goes...

Jinxing Myself Again...

2009-10-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

I get crap when I don't update this blog, but when I don't update it, it means that Beavis is keeping on the Downlow. WHICH IS GOOD FOR ME even though it's boring for you.

The most action I've seen from him was about two weeks ago on a Sunday night when I heard a weird motor revving and falling...revving and falling...revving and falling.

I look outside and see a black Nissan or Toyota idling in front of the Beavisphere. I also see Beavis digging through the recycling bin in front of his house, randomly throwing aside cans in search of...something. I don't know what. He then hops in the passenger side of the car and the car takes off. It gets halfway down the block when it stops and reverses its way back to the Beavisphere. Beavis hops out, goes into the house for a few minutes, stomps back out, gets back in the car, and the car leaves for real. WTF??!

I'll also occasionally see him and Ellie Mae walking to or from the Beavisphere on Important Beavis Business. That poor little kid manages to keep up with him rather well considering that he's usually preoccupied yelling on his cell phone while she trundles along on her tricycle.

That poor girl. I feel for her. I'll hate her when she's a teenager though...she'll be a true hellion then.

Tantrums and Petulance

2009-08-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

Beavis is still lying relatively low by his standards, but things are still happening...

Yesterday afternoon the Dear Husband and I were on our way to a fun double-header derby game funfest. As we were loading up the car, I saw what appeared to be a beach bum shuffling up the street in our general direction.

It was Beavis.

DAMN, he really shows some wear and tear up close. ZOIKS.

He stops, looks around, and waits. Ellie Mae is on her little pink tricycle, trundling along the bumpy sidewalk, catching up to him. He waits for her, looks to see if the street is clear of cars, and shuffles to the Beavisphere with Ellie Mae pedalling along behind him. How...cute.

Today I was sitting on the front porch petting Kitty. Ellie Mae is in the front yard of the Beavisphere, playing with the garden hose and watering the lawn. A heavily-pregnant woman comes out of the Beavisphere house and chides Ellie Mae and turns the hose off. This woman is NOT 40 Miles of Bad Road. I hope she's NOT the latest Beavis Baby Momma, too.

Anyway, the ending waterworks sends Ellie Mae on a tantrum where she runs screaming to the next door neighbor's yard and throws herself on their lawn. Big Pregnant Chick goes back in the Beavisphere house. Ellie Mae is left to continue to cry on neighbor's lawn. I watch. Kitty rolls on the ground at my feet. Ah, parenting!

After about five minutes, Ma Barker is heard calling Ellie Mae's name, but doesn't come out of the house. Ellie Mae continues unabated. Ma Barker starts chiding Ellie Mae, still from inside the house. Ellie Mae gets up off the neighbor's lawn, wanders back to the Beavisphere lawn, and starts crying again. Ma Barker appears at the front door, still chiding. Ellie Mae turns her back on Ma Barker and pouts on the grassy median between the sidewalk and the street. Ma Barker recedes into the house. Beavis comes out. Ellie Mae gets up off the median and stomps over to Beavis. He picks her up and takes her inside the house. More yelling and crying ensues.

This poor kid's gonna be screwed for life.

Conspicuous

2009-07-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

Beavis has been conspicuous in his absence lately.

I personally think he's in jail.

Hmmm...

EDIT:

He's not in jail. He's laying so low he's practically subterranean. Spotted him tonight while coming back from mailing off the bills before running off to Vega$.

Dammit.

!!!

2009-05-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

A common sight in the Beavisphere:

Beavis, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae on a random day:

A not-so-common sight in the Beavisphere:

A Parking Enforcement lady actually ENFORCING parking:

Yesterday afternoon I went out to run some errands and saw this fine city employee DOING HER JOB. She spent a good ten minutes inspecting Beavis' non-moving worktruck with no one stirring from within the Beavisphere. I left as she was writing up the ticket.

I came back an hour later to a surprise.

First the truck was all:

And then it was all:

Yep, Beavis managed to tow the damned thing into the Beavisphere driveway.

I just about peed myself laughing.

Check out the closeup:

You can see the parking ticket still tucked under the windshield wipers. And there's a couple of blocks of wood keeping the truck from rolling anywhere. There's the one block you can see in front of the left front tire, but there's also one in front of the rear right tires.

So now that damned thing is winking at my house all the time.

Ah spring...

2009-04-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

I think 40 Miles of Bad Road moved out of the Beavisphere.

It's just been too quiet.

Then this afternoon I hear, "MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A FUCKING TWEAKER!" bellowed from Beavis' general direction, with nonintelligible female whining following. I look out the window and see him stomping back and forth between the house and a Land Rover parked in front of the portable storage space--I mean, the worktruck. A woman was driving the SUV, whom I assume to be 40MBR. She has nice wheels for a tweaker.

Beavis climbed into the passenger side of the SUV after roaring to Ma Barker that he'll BE RIGHT BACK, DAMMIT. So far, back to quiet.

Last week the Dear Husband had an unsettling experience with Beavis and Ellie Mae. Well, unsettling for us, at any rate.

There was a large superball lying in our driveway. DH saw it and picked it up. Ellie Mae was watching from the Beavisphere driveway, looking to be alone. DH walked over and placed the ball on the lawn median between the sidewalk and street in front of the Beavisphere. Ellie Mae just sat and stared. As DH walked back across the street to our house, he hears Beavis' disembodied voice say, "What do you saaaaaayyyyyyyyy?" Ellie Mae jerked around in the direction of the garage, stared for a beat, jerked back to DH, and murmured "Thank you".

DH hustled back home and shuddered to himself.

Why No Updates?

2009-04-11T22:36:00.000-07:00

I've begun hearing from the masses that the lack of updates here has been...unsettling. And more importantly, UNAMUSING. Well, we can't have that, now can we?

So...what's been going on?

Luckily, not a whole lot. Big Daddy is around, and so the leash is kept fairly tight on Beavis. I'll see him wandering around the front yard of the Beavisphere periodically. Ellie Mae usually follows behind him. 40 Miles of Bad Road is rarely seen.

Beavis has visitors stopping by occasionally...don't know if they're "friends", drug connections, or what. Their presence is temporary.

The past couple of times I've had the murdersickle out, Ellie Mae's been fascinated. Part of her fascination may stem from the fact that Beavis occasionally has access to a little Honda scooter to get around and look all...uh...badass or something. When I start up the murdersickle, Ellie Mae stops her wanderings instantly and stands staring at me, transfixed. Poor little thing. She won't grow up to be a murdersickle rider like me...she'd end up in a leather halter top with a rose tattoo on her breast, flashing strangers at a biker meet.

So that's what's going on. Now I've probably jinxed myself by posting that nothing's going on...that's usually when something happens. Stay tuned.

Random Pix

2009-02-13T14:20:00.000-08:00

I think the last round of Beavis' legal troubles have kept him lower keyed than usual.

But here's some random pix from the past couple of weeks...

40 Miles of Bad Road in the storage unit--I mean--worktruck:

When I think of locations to put on makeup, the front seat of a non-running pickup doesn't spring to mind. Not so for 40MBR. She finds the worktruck to be best for gettin' pretty.

High. Larry. US.

For a couple of days, Beavis and 40MBR were rollin' in this bad boy:

Stylin'.

They seem to be back to bicycles for the moment, though.

Good times!

Low-Level Lurking

2009-01-24T12:42:00.000-08:00

Beavis hasn't left the building.

Or the neighborhood.

He's still around.

Lurking.

One night a bicycle was left in front of the storage unit--I mean, worktruck:

I'd never seen that particular bicycle before, and of course it was gone by morning. I surmise with absolutely no proof that the bike was stolen, and when Beavis or whomever was done with it, put it back out in the world to be stolen and used again.

Yesterday he was wandering around in the rain with Ellie Mae:

And after the rain stopped in the late afternoon he inspected his storage unit--I mean, worktruck most thoroughly:

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop...

Same Old, Same Old...

2009-01-08T13:33:00.001-08:00

Here I was, sitting at my computer with a comfy cat in my lap and not a care in the world.

Then I hear yelling.

Yep, you got it, Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road were back at it.

I grab the cat and run to the Husband's bathroom window, where I see Beavis having a tug-of-war with 40MBR over a tote bag she's carrying in one hand(she had two other bags slung over her shoulder), while Ellie Mae is being held in her other arm. Whatever was in that tote bag must've been VITAL to 40MBR's existence, because she DROPPED Ellie Mae in the middle of the street to keep trying to get the bag away from Beavis.

Beavis won.

Then he and 40MBR kept taking swipes at each other, yelling all the while. And Ellie Mae? Still sitting where she had been dropped, screaming her head off.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

Then they abruptly separate...40MBR goes stomping off down the street with her two remaining bags. Beavis sweeps Ellie Mae up from the street, and starts digging through the bag he just grabbed from 4oMBR. He pulls out a small box, waves it and yells, Look what I've got! Look what I've got! while 40MBR mutters to herself as she walks away.

Then Beavis returns to the Beavisphere with Ellie Mae in hand and disappears into the house.

The exchange lasted less than 30 seconds, and I'm completely unsettled.

About 20 minutes later, more yelling ensued as 40MBR had come back to the Beavisphere, grabbed Ellie Mae, and stomped off down the street with her, Beavis following. He stopped, turned back to Ma Barker, and went into the house.

Lourdey!!

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone got through the holiday season intact...we did!

So did Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road. Their activities consisted of hanging out with their friends:

And hanging out at their portable storage space, aka the Worktruck from Hell:

Big Daddy has a new ride:

I don't know if that's a rental or what...I assume it is, because that pickup is nowhere near the size of the old one.

And in the ironiest of all ironies, we have a new camper in front of our house...for real!

It belongs to our friend who I shall call BS. Hahahahahha!

BS is kinda-sorta homeless right now. Well, OK, he is. But he has three vehicles...two cars and that cute lil' motorhome thingy. He used to live with some hippies about a mile away, but the landlord isn't around and the chick who's in the landlord's place gave BS two weeks notice to clear out. BS is going to be up in NoCal for the next 9-10 days and needed a spot to store his hoopty(hope I spelled that right)because it would get towed if he left it in his former neighborhood.

So like dumbasses, the Husband and I said yes.

BS has quite the sense of humor about the value of the camper:

And I found this "note" on the windshield today:

The lack of windshield wipers amuses me. It had better not be raining when BS picks this monster up!

Which, by the way, should be interesting. When BS dropped off the monster, we had him do a little parking-spot manoevering. When he went to start up the monster, it died. DAMMIT. The Husband said, We can put it on the charger the day before it's supposed to be picked up. I just hope that'll do the trick!

You Should See the Other Guy!

2008-12-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

Last night as I was getting ready to go to the Animation Guild annual holiday party(which was fun as fuck), I heard a big loud diesel truck-thing. Turned out it was a tow truck, and it had pulled into the Beavisphere's driveway. It was there for a long time, and I lost track of its presence as I continued to try and look like a girl for once in my miserable life.

As the husband and I were leaving for the party, we see that the tow truck is gone, and Big Daddy's pickemup truck is in the driveway with the front end bashed in.

WTF?!?!?!

Today I got a better view of it:

OWCH!!!

Don't know what happened, where it happened or how it happened, but it sure as sh!t happened. Big Daddy was wandering around looking just fine, so apparently he wasn't injured. I wonder how long the truck will be there...now that I think about it, he couldn't take it to a shop last night because they were all closed by the time the tow truck must've shown up.

I guess he'll be around the Beavisphere a little more than we all anticipated!

I'm Bored

2008-12-11T21:03:00.000-08:00

I was distractedly watching a fun dvd set called, Forbidden Hollywood which features films that were made in the very early 1930's before the Production Code went into full effect. Needless to say, there were some films that were smutty...for the time.

Anyway, I got distracted by loud music with an insane bass track, and I look outside to see this:

The Expedition that Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road have been running around in lately. They weren't driving it today; some fat dude with a bandanna on his head was. Whatever.

Beavis and Fat Dude talked for awhile, then Fat Dude pulled the SUV into the Beavisphere driveway. 40MBR and Ellie Mae came wandering out. 40MBR went to their portable storage unit, aka the rotting worktruck:

There isn't really a way to lock up the worktruck, but Beavis has to jerryrig his way in anyway:

Lookit the Happy Family!

I got distracted by my own work, so I got back to it.

A little later, I see this:

Beavis carrying a coffee table. The table was left out in front of the next door neighbor's house. I saw it earlier in the day and it looked pretty cool, but I figured something must've been wrong with it for it to be abandoned like it was.

Beavis carried the table to the grass-clippings bin that was conveniently out front and put in on top of the bin.

However, he put the table back out in No Man's Land about 15 minutes later:

Then about an hour after that, some dude came along and grabbed the table:

And happily drove off with it:

One thing I've noticed is that Big Daddy isn't around. Crap. That means Beavis and his brood will continue to be around more often. Welp, hopefully that'll just mean that I'll get more funny photos of a benign nature, and not have any actual interaction with that prick.

Upswing

2008-12-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

40 Miles of Bad Road seems to be back, sans Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4. We still have no idea what happened with the tyke.

The thing is, it appears that Beavis, 40 MBR and Ellie Mae have been living off-site for the past week or so, but visit the Beavisphere often. They're now driving in a SUV that seems to be less junky than previous Beavismobiles. I have a feeling that 40MBR secured the SUV instead of Beavis:

I think this photo is hilarious...Beavis is Sham-Wowing the car while 40MBR is sitting in it:

On Friday I spied 40MBR moving endless bags o' stuff from the rotting worktruck to the SUV:

Eventually Beavis moved the SUV into the driveway:

And of course washed it. He loves washing vehicles:

Don't know if this domestic "bliss" will last, but I do know that when Beavis is doing "well", he's less likely to hang around mommy and daddy's house, which is VERY good for me! Upswing away, dammit!

Yesterday evening while I was prepping for my birthday party, I hear yelling from the street. Oh noes! I thought to myself as I ran to the window to look out to see what was going on.

It was Beavis and 40MBR having an argument in the middle of the street. Yeah, shocking.

I could only hear parts of the conversation, but something about some girl stealing Beavis' stuff was brought up. And that 40MBR was behaving badly at Greg's house...whatever that means. There was a lot of profanity mixed in with a lot of mumbling in between outbursts of said profanity. They eventually all angrily got in the SUV and drove off.

I hear that some of my partygoers were greatly amused to see the rotting worktruck up close and personal last night. I understand that there's photos. I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT:

I peed myself a little when I got this photo from laughing so hard!

A suggestion for future photosnappers: go to the front of the truck to get in the real decreptitude of the entropy. The front right tire is still completely flat and one of the headlights is about to fall off, so it looks like the truck is winking.

Oh, and apparently I have to explain the quality of my photos. Remember, I'm usually taking photos of the action from inside my house, where I have screens over the windows. Hence the fine mesh distorts the crispness of the Redneck Theater. Just pretend that you drank about 400 PBR's and it'll look "normal".

Enjoy!

Reappearances

2008-11-26T10:29:00.000-08:00

Last week I saw this:

Weird to see Beavis with a computer. I wonder if the keyboard has pictures instead of letters on it so that he comprehends...

But more importantly...

40 Miles of Bad Road made a brief reappearance!

She came by last Saturday to visit with Ellie Mae. Beavis and 40MBR were civil to each other...no arguing, etc.

As you can see, Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4 is no longer inside of 40MBR. We don't know where UDNAR#4 is...it wasn't with 40MBR.

Jeezus, but that woman has earned her nickname.

The three of them went wandering off down the street after about a half hour:

And about 15 minutes after they left, Beavis and Ellie Mae came back:

Thanksgiving and rain have been keeping further Beavis activity on the quiet side. Woohoo!

Suburban Bliss

2008-11-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

Big Daddy is still around quite often, so Beavis' activities are curtailed to a certain extent.

But not completely.

Beavis has caught on to the Parking Ticket Game, and so he regularly washes the worktruck to make it look like it's taken care of. Nevermind that it still has a flat tire:

Oh look, he's spiffying up the windows!

He still is a jerkface, though.

Thursday night both the Dear Husband and I caught snippets of one of Beavis' cellphone conversations that he likes to have as he paces around outside the Beavisphere. Something about him hanging out with his friends and threatening someone. He then pleads with the guy he's talking to to not call the cops. 'Cos dawg, he's gonna beat the sh!t outta the someone he threatened. He says dawg a lot. Since he's so...gangsta and all.

He then went on to say that the action was coming to our street.

Yikes.

But nothing happened. Big Daddy came home and put the kaibash on Beavis' roamings.

On Friday he was back to hanging out in front of the house while Ellie Mae wandered around, barely attended to:

Ellie Mae's been known to wander off quite often when left to her own devices. Usually Ma Barker has to go and fetch Ellie Mae from one of the neighbor's yards. 40 Miles of Bad Road still is not around, nor is her latest offspring. We still don't know what happened to her.

EDIT: Sunday, Nov. 16: This morning I stumbled around the house and heard Beavis even though I was inside my house. He was helping some dude wash a blazer-type of vehicle parked in front of the Beavisphere and talking loudly. Something about "my sh!t that got stolen" by some guy. I hear a woman's voice, but I never saw her, just heard her voice. I don't think it was 40MBR.

Beavis argued with her. Ellie Mae wandered back and forth along the sidewalk. The blazer dude kept detailing the blazer. I caught different snippets of conversation about Beavis' stolen stuff, and that she's a backstabber because she let the dude take Beavis' stuff and still hangs out with the guy. Or something. Hmmmm. This went on for at least a half hour. Then they all piled into the blazer and left.

Quiet Time

2008-10-22T06:39:00.001-07:00

Beavis is still around, but is mighty quiet.

40 Miles of Bad Road is still gone, which probably contributes greatly to the quiet.

A couple of days ago I looked out the window and saw this domestic scene of Beavis enjoying the sunshine while Ma Barker wandered in and out of the Beavisphere:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaitaminute, Beavis has the mental capacity to use a computer?!? Color me shocked:

Beavis has had a few "friends" over when he needs help getting to and fro. The below was taken yesterday after the pickup pulled up and Beavis hopped out. He then gathered one of his bicycles from the truckbed and hung out with the guy who drove the truck:

When Beavis manages to pull himself away from the Beavisphere, it's usually on bicycle, and then apparently gets rides back home from the buddies. Whatever.

This morning I woke up around 5am(not sleeping well due to terminally ill kitty), looked outside and saw Beavis lurking:

I'm used to him doing that at night...it's creepy seeing him out so early in the morning doing the same damn thing.

I know, I know...

2008-10-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's been forever and a day since I last updated Redneck Theater. Let's see if I can remember everything...

About three weeks ago Big Daddy, Ma Barker, Ellie Mae and 40 Miles of Bad Road left the Beavisphere. Apparently Big Daddy, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae went on vacation for two weeks. I have no idea what happened to 40MBR or the latest little unfortunate bun in her oven.

She hasn't been back.

While the above cats were away, Beavis the mouse did play. The first week he was without adult supervision, he did what we expected him to...he had all kinds of different scumbags coming to his daddy's house at all hours of the day and night.

Not only were they scummy, they were fat and ugly too:

They would party up a storm at night. The front door would be left wide open, and different colorful characters would shuffle in and out at a constant rate. They would be a little loud, but not enough to justify calling the cops. Dammit.

At one point, the Dear Husband heard some loud arguing in the middle of the night. It's Beavis and a woman, presumably 40MBR. The DH hears the sound of someone being hit, and crying and yelling ensues. As usual, the cops aren't brought in to arrest the scumbag. I ask the DH if it really was 40MBR, since she's been conspicuously absent. He shrugs...who else would put up with that? Hmmmm.

Also, Beavis has been getting around by borrowing different vehicles. See the sporty little mini-pick'em up truck he had a buddy bring by while Big Daddy was gone:

And this lovely Buick:

About a week and a half in, Beavis suddenly quieted down. By the end of the second week, Choirboy Beavis was in full effect. Big Daddy, Ma Barker and Ellie Mae came back home after two weeks of Seeing What Our Future Holds If Big Daddy Dies Before Ma Barker HELL.

I was actually relieved when the rest of the family came back and some sort of "normalcy" resumed...complete with Little Sister getting her BMW back, as you can see in the above photo.

While the family was gone and the different assorted colorful characters were parading around the neighborhood, one new fresh face was seen even after "normalcy" had resumed:

A closer peek at the young, uh, "lady" who's stupid enough to hang out with Beavis:

Christ.

Whenever I see Beavis out in front of the house, I usually can't hear what he's saying because he's wayyyyy across the street and stuff. The DH would come into the art room and ask me, but I'd tell him testily that how can I get a better idea of what's going on if I can't hear the conversations he's having?

So the DH got me this:

Yep, one of those listening devices. The one he got me doesn't work that well...whenever I point it in Beavis' general direction, all I hear is Ellie Mae's constant crying. Phooey. Well, not true...today Beavis was talking to a buddy in a car. The buddy was about to leave, but waited for a guy on a unicycle to wobble by. Beavis encouraged the buddy to "just go for it!" in regards to the unicyclist. What a guy!

So now I'm officially the neighborhood Mrs. Kravitz:

Hmmmm...

2008-09-03T10:12:00.001-07:00

Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road are beginning to venture out more.

On Monday I was coming back from a beach skate, and when I was about two blocks away from the house, I spotted Beavis pushing Ellie Mae's stroller down the street in front of me, going in the same direction that I was heading, so his back was to me.

Oh crap! I thought. Do I turn around and go home a different way? Do I skate by and swat him in the back of the head? Or do I just skate by and ignore the scumbag?

I picked Option #3.

And nothing happened that I know of...he probably said something charming and sociable, but since I had my mp3 player on at full blast, I would've missed whatever delightful and neighborly greeting he would've had for me.

After I passed him and a sleepy-looking Ellie Mae, I noticed there was a woman standing on the corner of the block.

It was 40MBR. Just standing there, leaning up against a Post Office mail drop off box, apparently waiting for Beavis and Ellie Mae.

Weird!

I skate by her, and she barely takes notice of me. She's still pregnant, so when I saw Beavis holding an infant days ago, it must've been Little Sister's Nub he had in his grasp.

Then yesterday, I look outside and see this:

40MBR is sitting in the Worktruck from Hell.

Just sitting:

Doing nothing:

Wtf?!?!?

Beavis ventures out a little later and starts tinkering with the truck. I don't know if he's sincere in trying to pull a Lazarus on the damned thing, or is just rattling sabers.

They were out there for awhile, pretending to be industrious on the truck. I got preoccupied with life, so I don't know when they shut the truck up and went back into the Beavisphere.

I just wonder if he's actually going to try to resurrect the horrible beast!

Smalltime

2008-08-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

Beavis has been laying low, but is still around. How do I know this?

He pushed the pickup around in front of the Beavisphere:

Last week the truck was way closer to the driveway curb. It's been pushed forward almost to the spot it was in when the Parking Enforcement Lady marked it up:

The right front tire was not fixed like I thought it was. He's been getting around taxi-style:

The day before yesterday, I was trying to be sly and get a better shot of the truck from the front porch. As I was doing this, little Ellie Mae wandered into view:

I slipped back into the house, as I foolishly thought there would be some adult supervision coming to get her at any second.

I was wrong.

She went wandering down the street. Much like Beavis was left to do when he was her age, I suspect:

Ellie Mae was left to her own devices for a good five minutes if not longer. Here's she wandering around in the yard of a house two doors down from the Beavisphere:

Ma Barker finally shuffles outside to see where little Ellie Mae wandered off to. She sees her, but doesn't go after her. She just calls her name repeatedly from the driveway:

At least Ellie Mae is obedient and runs back:

They go back into the house. Then end.

I don't know where Beavis was in all this. Or 40 Miles of Bad Road. Haven't seen 40MBR at all, now that I think about it.

I feel really bad for Ellie Mae, as she's a real innocent in all this. She's gonna be hell when she hits puberty.

Movin' and Groovin'

2008-08-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

As I was throwing out some junk from the house yesterday, I spotted Beavis with a baby:

I think this heralds the arrival of Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4. Poor thing.

The next time I looked outside, Beavis was using Little Sister's car for nefarious purposes:

He apparently changed the flat tire on the worktruck and threw it in the truckbed.

Then he pulled Little Sister's car up behind the worktruck:

WTF?

He goes up to the porch, gets a tiedown, and comes back to the truck:

Little Sister, some other dark-haired chick, 40 Miles of Bad Road and Ma Barker were watching while all this was going on. Here's a very bad closeup of 40MBR and Ma Barker. I think Ma Barker is holding UDNAR#4:

Beavis ties the tiedown to the front of Little Sister's car and the back of the worktruck:

And then proceeds to tow the truck back about 3 feet in an effort to thwart the Parking Enforcement Lady's chalk markings on the truck tires and the ground around the tires:

A job well done!

Un.

Believable.

I hope to see the Parking Enforcement people come back, as I'd love to ask them if this move is legal. I'm betting that they don't have protocol for this type of scenario. Dammit.

Huh!

2008-08-15T15:15:00.001-07:00

A strange and funny sight today...

PARKING ENFORCEMENT has finally figured out that Beavis uses public streets as his own personal storage facility for his non-running vehicles!

I happened to glance across the street as I was emptying trash this afternoon and saw a parking enforcement officer, a worried-looking Ma Barker, and an annoyed-looking Little Sister out in front of the Beavisphere, by the non-running cars parked in front of their house. They all were talking in hushed tones, so I couldn't hear a damned thing any of them said.

All I know is that the parking enforcement lady was typing in license plate info and such into her little computer and marked ALL FOUR of the tires on Beavis' worktruck(that has a flat, btw). Little Sister's car wasn't marked, even though it hasn't moved any more than the damned pickup. Little Sister is busy taking out all the crap that was stored in it, however, and moving the stuff into her latest car.

Speaking of, Little Sister apparently traded in her BMW and got some little pseudo-station wagon thingy made by KIA. It's cute. And tiny. Very appropos for a New Mommy.

Next thing I know, a tow truck has pulled up to Little Sister's old car!

After the PEL and the tow truck driver talked at great length, Little Sister's old car was towed away. WOW!!!!! I have no idea what prompted all this, but here's hoping that damned worktruck follows suit SOON!!

Oh, and Beavis was nowhere to be seen while all this transpired. Hmmmmmmmmm.

I don't know who called Parking Enforcement, but I just want to say to them: I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Breather...

2008-08-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

All's been quiet since Beavis got arrested.

He's out on bail, but has rarely been seen...in fact, he's only been spotted very briefly twice since his drunken @$$ got taken to jail.

It's taken me awhile, but here are some pix of what Beavis was throwing around the night he got arrested:

The top thing is the plastic casing for a "digital tire gauge". I found the casing on our front step. Literally. As in, open the front door, look down, and there it was. Just the casing.

The bottom two metal thingys are...uh, I'm not really sure. They look like some type of bracket. Beavis was not throwing rocks at passing cars as I'd assumed night of the incident. No wonder the cops were called!

Here's a closeup of the metal thingys:

And here's a sense of scale as I hold one of the metal thingys:

I found both the plastic casing and the metal thingys the morning after Beavis' arrest. The metal thingys were in the street, near our cars. I'm frankly amazed that our cars haven't been more overtly damaged by Beavis lately.

There was the one time a few years ago when he was drunk-driving and he backed out of the Beavisphere driveway into my Grand Am. He smashed the turn signal light, which set off the burglar alarm, and sped off. When the Dear Husband and I came running out, Little Sister actually narked on Beavis! I made a report to Big Daddy the next day, and Ma Barker sweetly handed me a $100 bill a couple of days later, thanking me for not calling the cops on the jerkface. Shame on me.

Anyway, I haven't heard anything about the neighbor who had their car damaged by Beavis, what charges Beavis is up on, or whether his candy @$$ will go back to jail anytime soon.

Dammit.

Summer Season

2008-07-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy must've been putting something in the water at the ol' Beavisphere, because activity had been nonexistent for the month of July. The most noise I'd heard lately is the yard work and house clean up that the neighbor two doors down is doing.

I'd see Big Daddy around, and sometimes Ma Barker would sit on the porch with little Ellie Mae perched on her lap, but other than that, no fights, no threats, no wondering if I need to call the police, as Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road haven't been seen at all.

Today was a rare spotting of Beavis and still-knocked-up 40MBR in their natural habitat, the driveway:

Kinda bizarre to not see them arguing and chasing each other around the neighborhood.

A surprisingly domesticated Beavis following 40MBR as he pushes Ellie Mae's stroller down the street:

This domestic scene was short-lived, however...

When the Dear Husband got home from work this evening, 40MBR was sitting forlornly by the fire hydrant next to our driveway. She was there for a while, then disappeared while we were busy doing useful stuff inside the house.

Then around 10:20pm tonight, the Summer Hiatus of Redneck Theater abruptly came to an end.

I hear yelling.

Oh Joy!!

Beavis is yelling at 40MBR in their driveway:

Where's my mom?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

40MBR is yelling back:

Where's your daughter?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

They keep yelling this at each other over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until 40MBR picks up a beach cruiser in the yard and pedals off down the street.

Big Daddy then enters from stage left, bellowing from within the house:

YOUR MOM ISN'T HOME!

Which sets Beavis spewing forth:

SHUT UP! YOU WANNA FIGHT? YOU WANNA FIGHT?! C'MON!! C'MON!! I'LL TAKE YOU ON! C'MON! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

repeatedly.

Big Daddy calls Beavis a caulksucker and taunts him with:

YOU NEED YOUR MOMMY TO HOLD YOUR HAND?!?!?!?!?!??!!?

again, repeatedly.

Holy HELL, that's freakin' HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They continue back and forth for a few minutes until Big Daddy abruptly shuts off the porch light and retreats back into the house.

Beavis stumbles to the edge of the lawn and sits down. He appears drunk. Greeeeeeat.

40MBR comes back.

Beavis still wants his mommy.

He keeps saying, 'Where's Ellie Mae? Where's my mom?!?!?!?!?"

Apparently they're at Little Sister's place.

GET HER ON THE PHONE!!!! He bellows.

For whatever reason, she can't be reached on the phone.

So Beavis wanders around, muttering.

A light-colored car comes down the street. He thinks it's Little Sister's car and he throws a rock at it!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The car turns and comes back, and three guys step out. They sound Latino as they ask, WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!

Of course Beavis escalates the situation while 40MBR apologizes profusely.

Oh, and she mentions that Beavis is her husband.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The dudes in the car aren't amused by Beavis' drunken antics, and so they call him a girl and threaten to beat him up. He threatens to beat them up. They then say, this is where you live? WE'LL BE BACK.

That's when we called the cops.

The guys leave.

Beavis is still being an @$hole.

Another car comes by, and Beavis throws another rock.

The car swerves and keeps going.

DAMMIT, WHERE ARE THE COPS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!

Finally, Little Sister drives by but doesn't pull into the Beavisphere driveway...she stops down the street, out of our line of sight.

However, it's not out of our earshot.

Beavis is yelling and whistling for the guys in the first car to come back. He then turns his attention to Little Sister.

He starts screaming at her in the middle of the street, STILL calling for his mom.

He makes James Cagney in White Heat look like a he-man of epic proportions.

Little Sister's friend pulls Little Sister's car into the Beavisphere driveway while Little Sister and 40MBR try to calm Beavis down. No luck.

FINALLY,

the cops show up.

Apparently the second guy that Beavis hit with the rock also called the cops.

THANK GOODNESS.

Beavis got arrested.

HOORAY.

Little Sister and 40MBR walk back to the Beavisphere. They chat for a few minutes(couldn't hear what they were saying because of a helicopter that kept circling the SM airport), then Little Sister goes to talk to Big Daddy.

That's when I find out that Beavis already had an outstanding arrest warrant. WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Big Daddy grouses about how the last time Beavis got arrested, Big Daddy had to spend $3,000 getting him out of jail without so much as a thank you. Little Sister reminded him that Ma Barker spent $20,000 on a lawyer and didn't get a thank you for that.

What a Good Boy!

Big Daddy continues to kvetch about Beavis' behavior tonight...I missed the part where Beavis was drunkenly threatening the cab driver that brought him to the Beavisphere, and so Big Daddy had to come out and pay off the cab driver before sh!t went down. That's apparently when Beavis started threatening Big Daddy. Big Daddy told Little Sister that if Beavis hadn't been drunk, he would've kicked Beavis' @$.

WOW.

Another helicopter flies around so I miss more conversation. All this time 40MBR is standing out in the street, leaned up against the non-running worktruck. When the copter leaves, I hear Big Daddy say something along the lines of, Her mom don't want her, her dad don't want her...how bad it must be when your own parents don't want you? Are they talking about 40MBR? I don't know.

40MBR is picked up and has left. Big Daddy and Little Sister are still talking out front.

What a weird, wild night it's been!

Chaos and Explosions

2008-07-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

The Dear Husband got to socialize more with our neighbors yesterday.

He was sitting at home when he heard a loud screech with an even louder crash immediately following. It sounded like it happened right in front of the house, so he went rushing outside.

As did a bunch of the neighbors on our block.

Everyone thought Beavis had done it.

But amazingly enough, he didn't do a repeat of the time when he got drunk and rammed his white pickup through someone's garage door around the block about five, six years ago.

Anyway, the neighbors thought it'd be a GREAT idea to see what would cause such a loud noise, and so they went off to investigate:

The noise was damn loud, judging by the growing crowd:

And this was the cause:

It doesn't look so bad from the above angle, but a hit-and-run driver was zooming down the street at stoopidly high speeds trying to escape from the scene of his last hit-and-run incident. The people he hit were following him. He came across a large truck coming towards him, and he tried to slam on the brakes since the street was too narrow for him to just zoom by.

He didn't make it.

His car jumped the curb and hit the wall you see above, narrowly missing a tree in the process.

The front of the car got munched:

The dude was unconscious due to the impact. He was also stuck in the car.

It took awhile for the firemen and cops to show up...strange on the firemen, since there's a fire station about only a mile and a half away from our neighborhood.

They had to use the Jaws of Life to get the dude out of the car, and apparently his legs were smashed up very badly. Last we heard, there were doubts that he'd even live through it.

I was out on a beach skate, and by the time I got back, the dude was on his way to the hospital, the cleaning crews were working on towing the broken car out, and all the neighbors were talking about the incident.

Of course the topic of Beavis came up, because of everyone thinking that he'd do something like this.

Then this-here blog came up in the course of discussion. Apparently more and more of the neighbors are finding this little record of Beavisosity.

Please, feel free to comment and add what you see and hear that jackass doing. You don't even have to give your real name or have a blogger account, you can just make up your own rad code name. Or I'll give you one, but I can't guarantee it won't be better than what I give the participants in the Beavisphere.

For instance, one of the neighbors told me that he has actually seen Beavis hit 40 Miles of Bad Road while they were fighting in the middle of the night in front of said neighbor's house. Yikes.

Another neighbor had some anecdotes about the brilliant parenting Beavis received as a child, which includes having neglectful and alcoholic parents letting him wander around the street when he was a toddler. Gosh, what a surprise!

Basically, he's repeating what his parents did to him.

Greeeeeeaaaaat.

And in the eye of the storm:

Beavis is back from wherever he and 40 Miles of Bad Road went to.

Damn.

So now we get to see more of this:

Is he dealing or just talking? I didn't see any material exchange between Beavis and whomever is in the car, so I don't know.

Taking photos at night sucks.

This is supposed to be Beavis talking to...uh...someone in a truck that's parked in front of the neighbor's house.

Beavis and 40MBR were wandering back and forth between that truck and Big Daddy's house with a stroller and occasionally carrying other weird items back and forth. He would yell at her, she would stomp around angrily and then go inside Big Daddy's house, leaving Beavis to lurk and whatnot.

Some time I hope to get an updated photo of the worktruck from hell. It's not going to be parked anywhere else than where it is for the time being, as its front right tire is completely flat and it's piled high with all kinds of weird stuff both in the bed and cab of the truck. So is Little Sister's car, for that matter.

This could be a long, hot summer.

Grist for the Mill

2008-07-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy's been back in town the past couple of weeks, so the Beavisphere has been calm.

Every once in awhile Little Sister stops by, sometimes with the Nub, sometimes not. I haven't seen 40 Miles of Bad Road at all, and Ellie Mae's appearances have been few.

Yesterday the Dear Husband and I had our yearly catch-up talk with the neighbors(we're horrible neighbors...we never socialize), and we found out some things that we had guessed at before:

*Big Daddy can't get rid of Beavis unless he wants to get divorced. Apparently he doesn't want to get divorced, so Beavis stays.

*Beavis' drug customers park on the next street over and go through the backyard to Beavis' house for their purchases.

*Beavis' charming thugged out friends have made outright threats to Big Daddy.

Wow.

Ma Barker is messed up to allow that to go on, but there's nothing we can do about it.

And we found out why Beavis isn't around the neighborhood the week of July 4.

Every year there's some kind of block party in one form or another that happens in our neighborhood. Everyone would meet up in a designated driveway and potluck away the afternoon and then set off fireworks at night. This has been happening for decades.

When Beavis was a kid, he'd go break into the neighbor's houses during the block party.

We figure that the only reason he isn't still doing that is because the repercussions would be more severe for his slacker @$$.

Creepy, ain't it?

Below is an average verbal exchange between Beavis and Ma Barker. I had heard him yelling at her, and thought it was another fight. It wasn't. They were having a "discussion" about Little Sister.

Again, as we suspected, Little Sister is single. It is of Beavis' opinion that she's miserable because she doesn't "have a man", as he says. It is also of his opinion that Little Sister is making Ma Barker miserable because she's miserable.

Of course.

I just hope that Big Daddy doesn't die anytime soon. To be stuck with this sleazeball forever scares me.

"But Henry, it's Father's Day..."

2008-06-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today we had the Dear Husband's immediate family over for a BBQ. It was delightful and delicious.

In the course of the family discussion, good ol' Beavis and his activities came up, so we gave a basic rundown of his general behaviors. We tell them about this-here blog so that they can get a more thorough backstory.

ANYWAY, as the DH walks his parents out to their car later in the evening, DH's mom says VERY loudly in her wonderful Bronx accent,

IS THAT THE TRUCK THAT IS ALWAYS PARKED IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE?

Ah, nice!

She's a wonderful woman, but not known for her subtlety!

The beauty of her announcement?

Beavis is out front in his driveway, playing with what appears to be his latest vehicle:

GENIUS TIMING!

So Beavis decided to put on a show for us.

40 Miles of Bad Road was strolling back to the Beavisphere in her mile-high espadrilles and little short dress, and Beavis immediately started yelling at her. She yells back. He grabs her purse and tosses it onto the roof.

The roof!

They stomp around their driveway, yelling, cussing, and waving their arms. Ellie Mae wanders around in between them, oblivious.

We watch this latest piece of theater quietly.

Then we go inside with no reaction.

So now we're back on Beavis' radar, and it looks like he's back on wheels.

Dammit.

Happy Father's Day, indeed!

Now It's Getting Scary

2008-06-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

Since my last entry, Big Daddy came back into town, so events had calmed down considerably. 40 Miles of Bad Road was rarely seen, while Beavis would be spotted strolling up and down the street with little Ellie Mae. Little Sister and the Nub came by periodically to give Ma Barker rides to who knows where. Things were quiet enough to the point where I was actually moving at a pretty good clip on my freelance.

Tranquility was broken this afternoon, in a scary way.

I hear 40MBR screaming from my perch in the living room, where I was doing derby work on the big computer.

I look outside and see 40MBR screaming and crying in the street:

She was screaming some VERY unsettling things. Mentioned getting a black eye by Beavis. That he hit her. That he was a "real man" because he hit her. That she needed to get the hell out of there. She also called him a "b!tch" a few hundred times. He bellowed back at her, but I couldn't decipher what he was saying. He followed her around and took swipes at her, but I couldn't tell if they were serious swipes or if he was just messing with her in her hysteria.

Notice that Ellie Mae was present and accounted for. Jeezus:

Beavis goes back in the house. 40MBR follows. The front door is left open, and I can hear more screaming from 40MBR. I hear things being thrown around.

Then my camera battery dies.

Dammit.

I grab the Dear Husband's camera. Its battery decides to die, too.

DAMMIT.

While I'm trying to figure out how to solve the camera problem(I don't, btw), 40MBR comes back out onto the porch...without her shorts on. She had grabbed a pair of blue jeans and was putting them on outside, still screaming and crying at Beavis, who was inside the Beavisphere abode.

I hear taptaptap from Beavis from inside the house. 40MBR turns to the window where he's apparently standing inside, waves her arms and screams,

JUST DO IT! BE A REAL MAN! SHOOT ME! YOU HAVE A GUN? JUST F***ING SHOOT ME!!!!! C'MON!!!!!! DO IT!!!!!!

Holy.

Freakin'.

SH!T.

She starts wandering around, crying. Beavis comes back outside carrying Ellie Mae and chases 40MBR down. He yells at her. She yells back. She goes back to the house, gets her purse, and stomps off down the street. Beavis is detained by an elderly neighbor who's obviously wondering if the cops need to be called. Beavis acts like a sane adult with the neighbor, still holding Ellie Mae.

For now things are back to being quiet.

This is some disturbing sh!t if he really did pull a gun on her, for a variety of reasons.

Yet Moar Domestic Bliss...

2008-06-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

I'm becoming addicted to staring out the window. Freelance? PHOOEY!

Beavis came busting out of Big Daddy's house this afternoon, yelling. Unfortunately I couldn't decipher what he was saying, as I had my radio turned up too loud. Dammit.

He meanders in and out of the house, continuing to bellow. Little Ellie Mae(the child formerly known as Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3) wanders aimlessly about, trying to keep up with Beavis. Poor little thing.

Eventually 40 Miles of Bad Road stomps out of the house, purse in hand, cigarette in mouth. Yeah, why stop smoking just because she's pregnant? That's just silly! Beavis follows.

40MBR stomps into the middle of the street, Beavis continues to follow...they're both snapping at each other. He takes his hoodie and smacks her with it. She waves him off and backtracks to the sidewalk to start waddling down the street. Beavis yanks her purse off her shoulder but she keeps going. He follows behind her for a ways, then turns around and goes back to Beavisphere Central.

He stomps inside, then reappears a few minutes later. He hops on a beach cruiser and starts pedaling in the direction that 40MBR was going. After a few more minutes, little Ellie Mae toddles out of the house, looking for her parents. Cute little booger. Eventually Ma Barker brings the child back into the house.

Beavis bicycles back home. 40MBR waddles back around 15 minutes later.

Ah, what harmony!

UPDATE:

A few hours later...

40MBR bursts out of the house, Beavis following. Both are screaming at each other.

40MBR grabs a bicycle and takes off. Beavis follows on the second bicycle. She swoops up and down the street, Beavis following all the while. They both go out of my sight line. A few minutes later, Beavis bicycles back.

Silence.

I try to go back to work.

Until I hear more yelling about five minutes later.

No freakin' way!

I look out the window and see 40MBR waddling back to the Beavisphere, with Beavis following. Both are on foot. She's screaming over and over, "Hit on a man, you big b!tch! HIT ON A MAN! I'M PREGNANT!" He bellows something about her smoking while pregnant.

They face off in the driveway, continuing their spat. He repeatedly taunts her by threatening to hit her.

Ellie Mae toddles out of the house. 40MBR picks her up and uses her as a shield. Seriously. Beavis almost hits the both of them. 40MBR puts Ellie Mae down, screams at Beavis, "GIVE ME MY SWEATSHIRT SO THAT I CAN GET OUT OF HERE!!!" Of course Beavis just waves the hoodie in 40MBR's face, so she just turns and stomps down the street screaming, "I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!"

Beavis goes back into the house for a few minutes, then stomps back out, hops on a bicycle, and gives chase.

Ellie Mae wanders out again. She's left alone in the driveway for several minutes before Ma Barker fetches her.

Goddam.

Beavis Goes Green

2008-06-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

The humongo black SUV is gone from the neighborhood.

Apparently Fat Pig and Homie took it back.

However, they must've given Beavis a helluva cheep price for the thing, as he hasn't been able to replace it with another vehicle that borders on working.

So he and 40 Miles of Bad Road are bicycling about.

I saw the both of them each on beach cruisers over the weekend. It's tres cute.

But apparently that's not enough.

The Dear Husband and I witnessed an altercation tonight where Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road were having a tug-of-war over her taking a bicycle.

We hear the shouting, and since I was in the art room with the computer on, I had to relocate since the computer fan was too damn loud to hear all the conversation.

40 Miles of Bad Road wants to ride the bike to visit her dad. Beavis won't let her take the bike. She begs, pleads, and cries to no avail. He makes some kind of threat, because she then screams something along the lines of, "Go ahead and kick me in the stomach! I'm just trying to do good for my daughter!" Remember, she's also knocked up with Unfortunate DNA Recipient #4.

So now we know that we can officially call Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3 "Ellie Mae", a la Beverly Hillbillies.

Beavis mutters incoherently and yanks the bicycle away from her. 40 Miles of Bad Road then wails that she can't walk to Westchester to see her dad. Well, apparently Beavis thinks she can, because he has the bicycle and he ain't driving her in either the brown worktruck or in Little Sister's old VW, both of which are still parked in front of Big Daddy's house.

40 Miles of Bad Road stomps off, apparently on her way to Westchester. I swear I was tempted to go offer a ride to her, but that would have to be one of the biggest mistakes possible for me to commit.

Ma Barker comes out and tells Beavis to "stop making a scene". Beavis barks back that "SHE STARTED IT!" She mutters some more(neither the Dear Husband or I could figure out what was being said), he replies with, "I'm not going anywhere!" as he paces between the front porch to the worktruck and back.

Things seemed to have settled down for the moment as 40 Miles of Bad Road is still gone and Beavis went back into the house. We'll see if it stays quiet.

Edit: 40MBR came quietly back to the house in a cab about an hour and a half later. No stirring in the Beavisphere since then.

I STILL need a 24/7 Camera!

2008-05-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was sitting and trying to do derby-related crap on the computer when I hear a string of expletives let loose from outside.

Beavis is back.

I look out the window to see him pacing angrily in between his front yard into the middle of the street and back again, cellphone glued to his ear. He's still yelling. To say he's infuriated is putting it mildly:

WHERE THE F&%& ARE YOU? LA TIJERA?!??!?! (silence) WHAT?!?! LA CIENEGA?!?!?!?(silence) GET YOUR @$$ BACK HERE!!!!!! (mumbling) I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR F&^%*ING JAW WHEN YOU GET BACK HERE!!!! I WANT MY S*&*# BACK NOW!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!??!?!?! (silence)LA TIJERA?!?!?!?!? YOU JUST TOLD ME LA CIENEGA A SECOND AGO, SO WHICH IS IT?!?!?!??! GET THE F*%$# BACK HERE NOW!!!

This continues for several minutes.

I don't know who he's yelling at. The latest SUV monstrosity isn't leaking oil in front of his house, and 40 Miles of Bad Road hasn't been seen since the weekend. Is she out and about in it, setting him off? I don't know. Oh, and she might be knocked up again. Save us, Jeebus!

He still paces angrily. DNA Recipient #3 toddles out of the house, following Beavis. Luckily DNA Recipient #3 has clothing covering both the top and bottom halves of its unfortunate little body. Beavis pays little mind as he finally takes the phone away from his ear, stares at this marvel of technology, and starts making outgoing calls. He occasionally throws his hands up in frustrated fury as the calls don't get through. He even hops angrily in the driveway.

As he isn't able to scream into the phone some more, he just keeps pacing, with DNA Recipient #3 continuing to follow him around. Eventually Beavis retires into the house in a dull rage, offspring in tow. End of story.

Later in the afternoon Beavis is out front again, talking to Big Daddy. The SUV and 40 Miles of Bad Road are still unaccounted for.

As of this morning the SUV is back, and all is quiet on the Beavisphere front.

It just keeps getting weirder and weirder...

UPDATE!!!!!!!!

We had THEE classic Redneck Theater tonight!

After I got back from a relaxing jog this evening, I hear Beavis yelling again. Just to bring everyone up to date...

Our Cast of Characters includes:

Beavis
40 Miles of Bad Road
Ma Barker
Little Sister
Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3
Homie
Fat Pig

and introducing: Little Sister's offspring, the Nub.

Back to our story...

I look outside and see Ma Barker, Little Sister holding the new Nub (she must've spat it out yesterday or Sunday) , and 40 Miles of Bad Road nervously pacing in the driveway. Beavis is screaming at Homie and Fat Pig, who are parked in their sporty Lexus down the street, in front of the behemoth SUV that's been leaking more oil than Iraq outputs in a week.

Here's a wide shot of the Beavisphere. You can see 40 Miles of Bad Road carrying crap that was taken out of the SUV and dumped in the front yard:

Beavis is bellowing at Homie and Fat Pig...mostly Fat Pig. Much the same as yesterday:

GIVE ME BACK MY SH!T!! YOU FAT PIG! GO POP A PILL!!! GIMME MY MONEY, B!TCH! TRY AND LEAVE IN THAT F*&^&ING CAR! IT AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE! THAT THING EATS UP TOO MUCH DAMN GAS! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS! GIMME MY SH!T AND GET THE F&%$ OUTTA HERE! FAT PIG! FAT PIG! FAT PIG!

Et cetera, et cetera...

I guess he wasn't mad at 40 Miles of Bad Road yesterday!

Ma Barker watches the drama unfold offscreen anxiously:

Beavis then starts taking various items out of the SUV and dumps them in the front yard of the Beavisphere. 40 Miles of Bad Road helps, baby bump and all. It's amazing what comes out of that SUV...it's like a damn clown car. Dressers, mirrors, a tire, bags of who knows what...

Homie next to the SUV. Fat Pig is to the right, offscreen:

Homie and Fat Pig get in their car and leave after trying to start up the SUV. All is kinda quiet as Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road continue to kvetch and collect their belongings. Ma Barker and Unfortunate DNA Recipient #3 toddle around the driveway. DNA Recipient #3 tries to follow Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road as they walk down the middle of the street with their stuff transfer, crying all the while. Eventually it's roped in and taken inside the house.

Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road gathering their sh!t:

Holy hell, a tire:

They then go to the work truck(unmoved for weeks now and piled high with furniture)and start removing the furniture and loading it in the SUV:

After that, they go inside. All is quiet again.

For about 10 minutes.

Homie and Fat Pig return.

I didn't see them return; I heard Beavis' yelling again.

I look outside and see this:

Homie and Fat Pig are unloading more stuff out of their car and dumping the stuff on the grass. You can see a couple of bicycle tires by the curb in the above photo.

Beavis continues to yell, threaten, and generally be an @$$hole.

He continues to pace around Homie and Fat Pig's car, yelling, YOU FAT F^%^ING PIG! GIMME MY MONEY, B!TCH!!! WHERE'S MY DVD PLAYER?! GO POP ANOTHER PILL! HOMIE, HOMIE, WHATEVER!!!! GET THE F$#% OUT OF HERE! GO CALL THE COPS, I DON'T CARE! CALL THE COPS! CALL THE COPS! CALL THE COPS!

He even spits at them!

Just. Amazing.

I can't hear what anyone else is saying, but whatever it is, Beavis doesn't like it. I'm seriously beginning to think that this will come to blows, so I have the phone handy to call the cops.

Finally, Fat Pig and Homie get back in their car and leave. Beavis shouts after them, YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY A MAN, YOU FAT PIG! YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY YOURSELF A MAN!!!!!!!!

Well. I guess he showed her!

It's rather dark by this time, so Beavis and 40 Miles of Bad Road angrily gather their belongings off of the curb and take them into the backyard.

Dang, tv should be at least half this entertaining. I'm rather amused by this, and now I understand why other people think this blog is hilarious...when it's not happening in your own neighborhood it's entertaining as hell!

New Hoss in the Stable

2008-05-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

For the past two weeks the white peesachit pickem'up and the third baby momma, 40 Miles of Bad Road, have been conspicuously absent. Things were nice and quiet despite the fact that Beavis is still around, wandering about in front of his house at odd times of the day and night. Sometimes he'll bring out Unfortunate DNA Recipent #3, clad in a shirt and nothing else. Yep, he lets his offspring run around with no pants on. Cute!

At first we chalked it up to Little Sister appearing to move back home complete with a big ol' baby bump(we've never seen her with anything resembling a significant other, so we don't know what the circumstances of all this means).

But now we think that Beavis either sold the white pickem'up or 40 Miles of Bad Road has it, as there's now a huge black Ford Excursion lurking about the Deliverance residence:

Here's Beavis cleaning out the back:

Notice the faded yet fancy "for sale" painted on the back window:

Check out the lovingly spray-painted front bumper:

That's classy!

The monstrosity has a paper dealer plate on the back(no front plate on it at all) and leaks oil just like the white pickem'up. Nice to see that Beavis is going for a color palette change in his obnoxious vehicles. He's already annoyed our next door neighbor when he parks the gas guzzler in front of their house. He hasn't had the chance to annoy us...

...yet.

Stay tuned, for there's bound to be more stupidity right around the corner.

Habits of Others

2008-04-10T11:25:00.001-07:00

No pix today, and I should be working, but the morning is going by so slowwwwwww...

Anyway, the husband mentioned an observation from last night:

Husband is on his bicycle near the west end of our block. He hears a car come up fast behind him, so he makes sure to move over so that said car doesn't hit him.

Turns out it's Beavis in the white peesachit truck.

Beavis slows down.

Husband keeps going to get the hell outta there.

Beavis turns at the end of the block.

Husband's still going.

Beavis stops, put the peesachit truck in reverse, and goes back up the street he just turned onto, then turns back on our street and heads back for homebase.

He didn't do anything to Husband(thankfully), but Husband wonders if Beavis' behavior is "normal" or not.

I've seen Beavis do similiar things when I'm out jogging. He'll drive to the west end of our block and then pull a u-turn and go right back the way he came.

From my Divorce Desk view, I'll see Beavis drive up and down our street, seemingly aimlessly. He'll stop at home, then hop back into the truck to drive up and down some more.

What does it mean?

I have NO IDEA.

Drugs?

Mental problems?

The mind boggles.

Ooh, before I forget, I saw a terrific verbal spat between Beavis, 40 Miles of Bad Road(baby momma #3), and Ma Barker(Beavis' mom) at the beginning of the week.

The scene: out in the middle of the street, two doors down from my house. The white peesachit truck is parked curbside. Double-parked next to it is a dark Acura or something similiar. Triple-parked next to that is Little Sister's BMW.

Beavis is wandering around carrying the latest victim of his DNA transfer(kid #3, wearing nothing but a diaper in the chilly early evening air), yelling. Ma Barker is yelling back. Little Sister is standing in the middle of the street. 40 Miles of Bad Road is in the truck with one of her friends. Some dude who apparently owns the Acura stands next to his car.

I can't hear what Beavis is yelling about, but I hear Ma Barker's distinctive Scottish harping, "Take the baby inside and put some clothes on her!!"

Beavis replies, "I would, but you won't let me in the house!"

Ma Barker barks back, but I can't hear what she says. In fact, all yelling becomes unintelligible at this point, but it's great fun to see Beavis pace like a caged lion with his unfortunate (and cold)child under one arm while he's yelling like a tantrum-enraged two year old. Everyone else is stalking around in the middle of the street, too.

After about five minutes of this, Ma Barker gets in Little Sister's BMW and they drive off. Oh, Ma Barker can't/won't drive. I think this is why she has Beavis and Little Sister around so much, so that she occasionally saves money on taxi fare.

At this point, I had to go do something in the house for about a minute. When I look back outside, Beavis is gone. So is the Acura.

40 Miles of Bad Road sits in the white peesachit truck with her friend. They talk for awhile, then pull their slatternly selves out to meander back to Beavis' parents' house.

All is quiet.

Goddam, I wish I had surveillance cameras out 24/7 on those people!

One last note: the hideous dark brown worktruck is back to being parked in front of Beavis' parents' house.

Just waiting for a chance to park in front of our house again, I'm sure.

We've had Beavis park the white truck in front of our house, but because he uses it so much for his weird driving purposes, it's not been growing moss and we've been able to put our cars back out front. Now our immediate neighbors go out of their way to put some kind of vehicle in front of their houses to keep it a Beavis-free zone too.

It ain't just us, apparently!

Dun Dun...Dun Dun...DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN

2008-03-11T23:07:00.001-07:00

Monday.

I step outside.

A bright, beautiful spring day.

Gazing around, I notice that my vision isn't marred by the monstrosity that is Beavis' pickup:

I look to the right:

Ah, there's that peesachit now:

I quickly turn away, not wanting to wreck my semi-good mood, my face wrinkled in disgust.

I turn to face the other direction, usually unmarred by Beavisitis:

But....wait...what's that I see down the block?

No...

NO!

It can't be..?!

YES IT IS!

That damn worktruck.

Apparently Beavis didn't sell it after all, but is "storing" it down the street:

Holy shiiiiiott, what nerve.

What a nice stroller hanging out the back of the damn thing, too:

I'm very tempted to let the latest parking victim know that they have options, but I've never spoken to them before, so it'd be weird to approach them now. Maybe I'll leave a handy-dandy note with a phone number or two for them to use?

Hmmmmmm...

Poof!

2008-02-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

The worktruck is gone.

And when I say "gone", I mean not only is it not in front of our house rotting away, it's gonegoneGONE from the neighborhood.

We think Beavis sold the damn thing. It would explain the switched license plate, we think.

I forgot to mention that when I was taking pix of the beast(see previous blog entry) and trying to write down its VIN(conveniently obscured by a book of matches...um, illegal!), Beavis' horrible Scottish mom lurched out of the house and started screaming for Beavis to come outside to save that glorious piece o' crap from my scutiny.

Note: I don't hate Scottish people in general. I just hate her because she's such a damn negative stereotype it makes my teeth ache from me grinding them into a fine paste when I watch her try to pretend that she's a reasonable human being when I know she gave birth to that pillow-biter boy of hers.

So I started yelling back at her.

That kinda confused her.

I stomped back into the house to call LA DOT yet again. Gawd knows what that drunken sow did.

By the end of the day, the truck was gone.

Coincidence?

Maybe, but at this point I don't care.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

2008-01-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

I come out this morning to find this:

That PUTZ BACKED INTO MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDD....

He switched license plates!

UNFREAKIN' BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We filed yet another goddam report to LA Dept. of Transportation. Like it'll do any good.

If anyone has any ideas on how to get this fucktard's car outta here, I'd LOVE to hear it.

Code

2008-01-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

Tonight Beavis is working on the worktruck in front of our house.

In the rain.

Freakin' DOOOOOOOOOSH.

Here's what LA Municipal Code says about abandoned vehicles:

Los Angeles Municipal Code 80.73.2 requires that a vehicle parked on a public street be driven at least one mile every seventy-two hours. Additionally, California Vehicle Code 22669 allows traffic officers to tow any vehicle which is inoperable and parked on City streets, constituting a public hazard. Traffic officers cannot simply tow a vehicle because a complaint has been made. The traffic officer must first observe the vehicle over a 72 hour period to determine that the vehicle has not been driven. Additionally, as a courtesy, the traffic officer will generally leave a green warning card on the vehicle, notifying the owner that the vehicle must be moved. If the vehicle has not been moved at least one mile after seventy-two hours, the vehicle can be impounded.

You know what's really handy? An online form to report abandoned vehicles!

LA DOT is useless so far

2008-01-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

Back to our regularly scheduled entropy...

Still no action from the city regarding Beavis' gawdawful truck. Not much has changed...he still argues with the babymomma, has visitors at weird hours of the night, and is basically his usual whitetrash self.

Last week I noticed a partially-smashed can of WD-40 on top of one of the tires of the truck:

Close-up numero uno:

Close-up numero two-o:

I don't know what, if anything, its presence signifies. I thought I'd document it for chuckles, though. It goes well with the baby stroller that's rotting in the truckbed, I guess. Also notice the smudged remnants of the white marks the parking enforcement people left in December when Beavis got ticketed. I don't know if they've made further marks that he just cleans off, or whether we're stuck with this sh!tpile for another eight months.

Here's a front view of the truck. I took this because the "winking" headlight is kinda cute:

Be lucky you don't have this crapacious crap in front of your house!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T15:42:00.001-08:00

There's still that ugly worktruck in front of the house!

Beavis has a new "tactic". Whenever he's peeved with life, he goes to start up the worktruck. He'll let it run for about five minutes, and then puts it back to sleep again. I'm guessing the hoped-for reaction would be for us to come running out of the house in expectation that Benevolent Beavis will move the damn thing.

However, he forgot something vital in this brilliant plan of his.

We have brains, and we know that he's not moving the damn truck of his own volition.

The stalemate continues...

Still Holding

2007-12-29T12:51:00.001-08:00

The pickup is still parked in front of the house.

Unmoved.

Unticketed.

Unbelievable.

Tenacity

2007-12-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

After Beavis' last outburst, he's been true to his word about still not moving his truck.

Y'know, this whole thing wouldn't be worth escalating if he didn't think the neighborhood was his personal junkyard. We don't park our vehicles in front of the neighbors' houses if at all possible...and we especially don't leave vehicles for MONTHS at a time in front of anyone else's house. Rude, obnoxious, spoiled behavior. Oh, and illegal, too.

His momma should've spanked him more as a child.

A Long Winter...

2007-12-10T11:53:00.001-08:00

For the past five weeks or so, Beavis has laid claim to the street in front of our house with his dubiously-running former work pickup that leaves oil stains all over the place:

So the husband would resort to parking in front of Beavis' mommy and daddy's house whenever we didn't feel like stacking up our cars in the driveway. That annoyed Beavis, strangely enough. Apparently "what's good for the goose is good for the brain-dead pathetic gander who's so lame he has to live with his parents" isn't said in Beavis' household.

One night we came home to this. One of Beavis' dumb@$$ friends parked behind the husband's car to make it look like he bumped bumpers:

Upon closer inspection, we see that he's not:

So riding the line of legality is how it's gonna go? Fine by me.

He's still with the same BabyMama, but apparently things aren't going smoothly. There's a lot of in-the-middle-of-the-street verbal arguments, with a lot of her yelling, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" as he stomps around, gets into his friend's car, and roars off into the night.

Kinda interesting, but it'd be better if he moved his damn truck.

We did a little research, and made a few phone calls last week.

Yesterday we had the chance to move my car in front of Beavis' mommy and daddy's house. In fact, Beavis saw us leave in the husband's car as he was leaving in his white peesacrap truck, and purposely drove around the block to see if I moved my car into his space. I didn't. It took willpower I didn't think I had, but I left sleeping scumbag dogs lie for the moment.

This morning was bright and sunny. The usual parking scene unfolded before me:

I put on my skates and went for a beach skate. As I strode by, I saw this:

Chalk marks on the front tire of Beavis' truck.

Hmmmm...

On the way back from my lovely beach skate I see this:

Chalk marks on the rear tire of Beavis' unmoved truck.

Not only that, but there's a lovely new accessory on Beavis' windshield:

Yep, a ticket!

Beavis usually stops by the ol' truck once every 7-10 days to start 'er up just for snicks and giggles...I can't wait to hear the cussing when he sees the ticket!

Edit: he found the ticket. He's not happy. He started the work truck up, then let it die. I stepped out onto the porch and had a seat to watch the show. His babymama walked around aimlessly. He stomped back and forth betwixt the work truck and peesachit truck cussing wildly. He sees me and growls, I'm gonna leave that truck there all month!

It's your wallet! I point out.

That lets loose a volley of cussing that I usually hear directed towards the babymama, who had fluttered back to Loser Homebase by this time. Real grownup! I reply. WHAT?!?!?! he yells. You heard me. I reply. More cussing ensues, and then he slams the peesachit truck door shut and sloooooowwwwwly drives off down the street. The husband is going to file a complaint with the cops, just to leave a paper trail.

Idiocracy

2007-09-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already, go see Mike Judge's Idiocracy. Once you do, you'll fully understand our dear neighbor Beavis and our frustration with him, for it is that movie being played out in real life, right across the street from our house!

Here's the most pertinent part of the film for your viewing pleasure, so that you get what I'm talking about...btw, the language is NSFW:

Get it now? Beavis is Clevon.

He's on Babymama #3, as far as we know. He doesn't see the other two kids he has very often, as far as we know. An upstanding father figure, to be sure. Babymama #3 is feisty. She argues with Beavis a lot out in front of his mommy and daddy's house. Sometimes they're hauling their baby around while screaming. Sometimes she's just smoking while he's angrily throwing baby furniture in and out of his peesachit truck...yelling all the while. It's great to watch while I'm working. I get a great view from the window in the art room.

I've only seen Babymama #3 up close once. I shuddered. She's not old...late twenties, perhaps. However, she has a face that perfectly describes the saying, Rode Hard and Put Away Wet. Oof! I think she's definitely the type where she saw Beavis and said to herself, The Other Girls don't understand him. I'LL change him and make him the Perfect Man! She's failed, so far. And the frustration is beginning to show on her haggard, worn features. I can't wait to see how this all plays out.

To add to the fun, I saw something interesting a couple of weeks ago. I was working in the art room(damn freelance!), and I saw a blur out of the corner of my eye. It was one of Beavis' twerpy friends running up to their house, and he quickly ran inside. Then, a large SUV with four large Mexicans drove up and screeched to a stop and got out of the car and studied the front door to Beavis' parents' house. Beavis' daddy came outside. Beavis ran up. Babymama #3 fluttered behind. I don't know what the twerpy friend did, but the large Mexicans didn't like it, apparently. However, they were thwarted by Beavis and his daddy, and they eventually drove off. Beavis' twerpy friend ran out of the house five minutes later and jumped into Beavis' peesachit truck, where Babymama #3 and Beavis were already waiting for him, ready to go. They drove off.

End of story?

Well, the next day Beavis' peesachit truck had its windshield smashed out. Ooopsie! Apparently the large Mexicans don't like being told, No, you can't go in and smash the little twerp who just ran into that house over there. Ok, bye-bye! The large SUV and the large Mexicans therein haven't been back since, as far as I know. Unfortunately Beavis parked his truck in his parents' driveway so that I couldn't get a photo of the smashed windshield before he fixed it. Ah well, I'm sure it'll happen again, knowing him!

So depending on my photographic wherewithall, I hope to record more of Idiocracy in Action. It almost makes me want to have a kid to try to counteract this crap. Almost.

Too Long

2007-09-30T14:47:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know it's been too long since I've updated the Entropy Project. Here's the latest...

Beavis' peesachit truck hasn't been in front of our house for a couple of months now. Occasionally one of his "friends" will park in front of our house, but it hasn't lasted long.

I think our success has to do with Beavis' latest Babymama more than our keeping one of our vehicles in front of our house. She's living with him and his mommy and daddy now. Hilarity ensues! I'm going to make a separate post about this next.

Anyway, back to the entropy! As a refresher, here's Beavis' worktruck and his sister's endlessly For Sale VW:

Aaaaand here they are, now:

See the difference? Wait, there is a difference:

The front wheel has been off of the worktruck for a couple of weeks now. I don't know what happened, as the truck hasn't moved in months. One day Beavis and a couple of his buddies took the wheel off, threw it into the back of the peesachit truck, and that's all I wrote.

Here's Beavis being a Social Butterfly a few months ago with some jerkwad in a Beetle in the middle of the street:

The jerkwad was constantly going up and down the street and stopping to talk to Beavis for a few weeks at a time. I think he's gone though. Again, I think the Babymama had something to do with it.

And last but certainly not least:

The ol' "Let's-park-in-front-of-the-fire-hydrant-because-we're-incredibly-stoopid" buddy. I don't know what the f#ck it is with this guy. He visits Beavis a lot. Sometimes he'll sleep in the cab of the truck if Beavis isn't home. Oh, and notice in this particular photo, the red car that's double-parked by the white pickup. Jeezus!

It was toooooo quiet...

2007-07-15T21:09:00.001-07:00

Beavis was relatively well-behaved for a few months there, but all good things must come to an end.

I came home from derby practice to find his latest girlthing parking his truck in front of our garbage cans. WTF!??!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!???!?!?!

This has happened before, and last time the sight of me coming out with a camera made Beavis move the truck promptly. Tonight, the girlthing came out of the truck and yelled to him, "What are they doing?! They're taking pictures!!" To which our potential Rhodes scholar wittily replied, "That's what they do." The girlthing then turned to me and said, "What are you taking pictures of?" to which I replied, "Of your sh!tty parking job, honey." Beavis then yelled something about making money off the photo. Oh yeah, dude, like you're worth a plugged nickel...dream on, silly dreamer.

The husband said to me, "Why are you starting up with them?" which baffles me, since I don't park my crapacious vehicles in front of anyone else's house or garbage cans like an @$$hole.

Ah well...enjoy the photos...this is what stupidity looks like:

Another Car to Annoy

2007-04-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning brought us this sight:

The white car parked in front of our house belongs/ed to Beavis' sister. She left it with her mommy and daddy when she moved out and somehow managed to get a BMW. Also white, btw. I don't know what it is with that family and white cars, but then again, I guess it makes a nice juxtaposition to our black cars.

Anyway, Lil' Sis has her car for sale. For the past year and a half. Yeah, she got out of the house and into her Beemer almost two freakin' years ago. The old car was sitting down the street in front of some other neighbor's house for close to six months without moving at all(sound familiar?), but Beavis moved it onto their lawn earlier this week, washed and waxed it, and parked it in front of our house. Since there's a handy sign in the window stating that the car is for sale with a phone # listed, I'm going to see if I can't help this sloooowwwwwwwwww process along.

Here is the promised pic of Beavis' fine parking job in front of the fire hydrant next door to our house. Putz!

Mainly Quiet on the Western Front...

2007-04-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

...for now.

Ever since Beavis saw me taking photos of his obnoxiousness, he's been keeping said obnoxiousness on the downlow. Here are a couple of examples of what he does on Trash Day.

Basically he'll park his peesachit truck so that no one else can park in front of the house for a few hours. So far he'll move said peesachit before nightfall.

I also have a photo of Beavis' truck parked in front of the fire hydrant next door. I gotta dig that up and post it. He and his @$$hole friends have a really annoying habit of parking in front of said fire hydrant. Jeezus, there isn't a shortage of parking on the damn street, does it really affect their wittle footsies if they park 5o feet farther away?

Unbelievable

2006-12-12T10:03:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, the husband put the garbage cans out in the evening for the next morning's pickup from the city. I was at derby practice at the time. When I got home, I found this:

Beavis parked his peesacrap truck in front of our garbage cans. I came in, grabbed the camera, and went back outside to record this momentous event in @$$holery.

Of course, when I picked up the camera, I accidentially pushed a button to put the camera into .mov mode. D'oh! So while I was fiddling around with the camera trying to get pix, Beavis himself strolled over:

You can see him right by the porch light of his mommy and daddy's house. He faux-casually asked, "What are you doing?" to which I faux-casually replied, "What the *($()(#^t@ do you care?"

That ended the conversation right there. He moved the damn truck.

Ever since then, he's been better about leaving room for my car if he parks in front of our house now that he knows that I'm photographing him.

What a douche.

Deja Vu

2006-10-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've had to update, as Beavis managed to not be a total jerkass and kept his menagerie of vehicles out of the way for the most part. Until....

Yesterday.

I came home from practice and found that goddam horrible truck back in front of our house as if it had never left. The husband is swearing that this time we should call the parking division of the police and have them ticket the damn truck. I thought I'd take pix for backup.

For some reason Beavis has a mini-tire store going on in the bed of the truck. Notice how he's also removed the previous contents(surfboard and all!)as well as removing the truck bed liner.

Last week he was carrying some sort of wood cabinetry in the back. Whyfor, I don't know. I also don't know what the intended use of the wood cabinetry was, but he grew tired of that quickly, it seems.

Across the street the Crappy Caddy has finally left. I'm not sure where it is; I didn't notice it parked down the street in front of some other poor neighbor's house at any rate. Instead, we see the crapacious Work Truck from Hell is still in residence. Also in attendance is Little Sister's Old Car. It was parked a couple doors down from us for about four months straight with a "For Sale" sign in the window. Apparently she's not bright enough to either put an ad somewhere to sell the thing or that there isn't enough traffic on our block to bring in a sucker--I mean--potential buyer for the heavily-used car. Beavis finally washed the residue of four months of weather off the car this past weekend. Oh joy.

Other visitors include some guy with a huge bright orange work truck. It's obnoxious in just about every way. The woman with the Volvo who has dealings with Beavis is still a regular visitor. Sometimes she visits carting an infant with her; I hope to god that the brat isn't also Beavis's. We also get the ebb and flow of people who stop by for short amounts of time and then quickly leaving. I can never see exactly what they're doing. Beavis's mommy has visitors come by and cart her to work and back. Lovely!

Just When I Thought I Could Park...

2006-08-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

...in front of my own house again. I came home last night from practice to find Beavis' worktruck parked not only in front of the house, but parked so that no one could park in front or behind that hideous piece of crap:

You can see the other peesachit truck that was previously parked in front of the house is now across the street in front of Beavis' mommy and daddy's house.

Selfish prick:

Here's the rest of the flock of cars that Beavis has. The Volvo belongs to some chick whom I fear is dating Beavis. I used to think she was one of his suspected customers, but she's there too often now to be just that. Idiot.

For a couple of weeks he or his miscreant buddies would park so that the space could fit two cars. That wasn't to last very long, I guess.

I wonder if he himself realizes that being in one's thirties and having to live with one's parents officially makes him a loser. His glory days were over ten years ago in high school. Yikes.

Too Good to Last...

2006-08-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

I knew it couldn't last long...

The temptation for Beavis to leave an open space in front of our house was too great to resist. He parked his hideous worktruck in front of the house yesterday:

We're going to be gone for the weekend, and I expect to see that fuxxing monstrosity still sitting there on Sunday when we get back. Oh joy, oh rapture.

He's still having "visitors" at all hours, too. Makes me feel real safe, y'know?

A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse

2006-07-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

I looked out my window when I sat down to work this morning and saw an amazing sight:

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! Beavis moved the truck!!!

Today it's parked on mom and dad's lawn:

I must say, I'm floored. Beyond floored.

I don't know what to do. I've actually kept my car where it is to see if Beavis moves the truck back in front of the house. He might leave it on the lawn for the day and move it by tomorrow night. Who knows. In preparation, Beavis' next door neighbor already put out his trash bins so that Beavis can't put the truck in front of his house.

Smart move!

At least I got photos of this momentous event.

Long Time, No Update

2006-07-03T12:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. Beavis has apparently given up anything resembling a day job and is pretty much lurking about mommy and daddy's house on a full-time basis. I have to be more crafty on getting photos without him noticing.

The husband and I talked to one of Beavis' next door neighbors, who pointed out something that I was suspecting a few weeks ago. We think Beavis is now a low-level drug dealer. Why do you think that, Sherlock? you may be asking.

Good question. What do you think about the following:

He doesn't seem to have a job of any sort.

He's on his cel phone a LOT.

He has creepy people come by the house at all hours, parking haphazardly, and most don't stick around for too long.

He's been seen sitting in the cars of these creepy people for various lengths of time at all hours.

There have been a wide variety of said cars...from 2o year old Toyotas to brand-spankin' new Mercedes.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Makes ya think, don't it? Without any better evidence, I don't really know what to do about my suspicions, though.

Here's some quick photos I took today:

What's missing from this photo? Beavis' big ol' crappy "work truck"! It disappeared yesterday, and I had thought he'd actually gotten the thing running and was out of the house for the weekend. Nope, no suck luck...the truck is gone, but he came out of the house just as I was finishing up my photographing for the day. Yesterday there was a car battery sitting on the curb where the blue trashcan is currently sitting. Snazzy!

Here we have shot numero uno of the bed of the Peesachit truck that's still parked in front of our house. Notice how he's gotten rid of the previous junk, but has added what appears to be the top of an air conditioner:

Shot numero two-o:

And hey! what's this? Beavis actually managed to fix the trunk of his Crappy Caddy so that he doesn't need a carjack keeping the lid closed for the time being. The car hasn't moved at all since the last time I posted. In fact, it got a ticket a couple of weeks ago. Beavis apparently doesn't care about that, as the car remains in entropic perpetuity.

Body Parts

2006-05-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

As I type this afternoon, neighborboy Beavis and three absolutely brilliant mechanix are trying to pull a Lazarus on Beavis' work truck, which is rotting in front of his mommy and daddy's house. Earlier today I got some pix of the body parts from some unknown vehicle that he's been leaving in his other peesachit truck still parked and unmoving in front of our house and parts scattered on the front lawn of mommy and daddy's house.

I don't know where the cannibalized parts came from, or where they're going. But for now they're in the back of the pickemuptruck:

Here's the worktruck. Notice the body parts in the back. The broom leaning against the back really adds something, doesn't it?

A view from the front. Notice that the hood isn't closed all the way. I think it's because of the thing on the ground between the truck and the backend of the Crappy Caddy.

The Crappy Caddy is stylin' with that piece of plankwood leaned up against it. I swear if I knew a kid young enough I'd still try to enter the poor car in to Pimp My Ride.

Now this is hot. We got the carjack holding the trunk lid down. We have the...thing on the ground from the worktruck. We have a piece of wood crammed in on the side of the trunk lid. Why? I don't know, but I'm lovin' it!

Closeup of the thing from the worktruck. Does anyone know what it is? I think Beavis and gang are trying to replace it this afternoon.

I tried to get a photo of the aforementioned Sundance Channel STAFF lanyard in the peesachit truck, but all I got was my own reflection. I think I need to wait for a sunny day in the morning for a good shot at it.

Beavis has been, uh, working late into the night. Well, if you call hanging out with one's friends with the truck hood open "working". I thought I heard glass breaking last night. I haven't checked to see if that's the case...yet. What a loser.

Vanity, thy name is "Beavis"

2006-04-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

Thursday was a big day for ol' neighborboy Beavis. He did some major rearranging of the back of the non-running peesachit truck.

Gone is the dog crate, the wood crate, the spare tire, and the plastic bag in the spare tire. The surfboard has now been joined by what appears to be a car hood and two wall mirrors. Click on the photos below for a better look...

As you can see, things have opened up in the truck bed:

Here's the first mirror:

You can just make out the edge of the second mirror under the car hood-thingy. The blue thing is the old bottle of motor oil:

I also noticed a lanyard hanging from the rearview mirror in the truck cab that said, Sundance Channel STAFF.

Huh. I never would've guessed that Beavis was capable of finding work with someplace like the Sundance Channel. Makes me wonder how he came across that little gem. I might try to get a photo of it in the morning, when I have less trouble with the window reflection wrecking my photo attempts.

Crate

2006-04-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

Last week a crate was added to the peesachit truck bed. I don't know what it's from, but I'm guessing some sort of machinery once lived in the crate.

It looks like the green metal thingy that may be used to fertilize lawns was moved to accomodate the crate. The plastic bag inside the tire is still there, though.

I had to snap these pictures quickly. Beavis wasn't working last week, and tended to lurk about in his daddy's front yard much of the day while I was slaving over a hot animation desk trying to get my work done.

Junk in the Trunk

2006-04-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Here's a slight update of the inventory that's stashed in the truckbed of the never-moving pick'emup truck:

As you can see, the surfboard, tire, and plastic bag are still in attendance. Added to the fray is that green...thing in the upper righthand corner of the photo. I think it's used to distribute fertilizer on lawns, but I'm not sure. Also added is the yellow coffee cup. At first, it was sitting on the hood of the pickemup truck, but Beavis figured out that it belongs in the truckbed before I could get a pic of it still on the hood. Slick! The red rag might be new, but I'm not sure.

Edit: oooooh, now that I look, the green thing has been there for awhile...it's just made its way to the surface, apparently trying to claw its way out of the hell it finds itself in. The cup is definitely new, and seems resigned to its fate.

For Those Who Need to Get Up to Speed...

2006-03-29T13:12:00.000-08:00

From March 23, 2006:

This morning Beavis, the obnoxious neighbor from across the street who insists on leaving his non-running peesa-chit pick'em up truck parked in front of our house, was trying yet again to keep the damn thing running while not actually moving it. Apparently he has a new girl, too. She looks to be the type that inspired the phrase, "tramp stamp" for the tattoo on the small of her back.

Note: I'm not saying that all women who have a tatt on the small of their backs are tramps, but this one certainly looks to be of the "tramp" variety, especially since she's knockin' boots with Beavis.

The husband actually had a conversation with her a few weeks ago when he put his old computer monitor out on the front lawn to see if it would be taken by someone, anyone, who might want a free monitor(they didn't, and so we have to dispose of the damned thing some other way). She asked if the monitor worked, he said not really, she looked disappointed and wandered off. The husband also said she'd be perfect for roller derby. Ha!

Below is a photo of Beavis' Crappy Caddy that's been parked in front of Mommy and Daddy's house for about a month without moving. Note the crap piling up in the back seat. I think some of that crap was piled in the cab of the Peesa-chit truck, but it's hard to keep track of the flotsam and jetsam that is Beavis' trash.

Another photo of the Crappy Caddy. Note the paper plate on rear window. The cheapo carjack that's keeping the trunk lid closed. The strip of duct tape that didn't work in keeping the trunk closed previous to the carjack being placed on the trunk lid. This just screams class, doesn't it? If he wasn't so old, he could've gone on Pimp My Ride with this thing and actually have something interesting done to it.

This afternoon I came back from running a couple of errands to see that Beavis has finished maintaining the Peesachit truck for the day, and has left a memento in the form of a plastic bag on our lawn. How thoughful!

I wanted to return the favor, so I took the plastic bag and threw it in the bed of the truck, where it's joining another recent acquisition, a tire. It looks so good just laying up against that crapacious surfboard, don't you think?

From March 9, 2006:

Still no news about the Derby Dolls going to SXSW, so I thought that while I'm going insane with waiting, I'd share neighbor Beavis' Entropy project.

Here we have his peesa-crap pick'em up truck parked out in front of my house. It's been there for around six weeks. It doesn't look too bad from a distance.

When one approaches the vehicle, one notices the trashbags full o' crap that are in the cab:

The sticks, dirt, and bird crap that adorn the exterior are quite becoming, don't you think?

In the truck bed there's a surfboard, doggie carrier, old oil container, sticks, and of course a Top Ramen wrapper.

Beavis' other entropy project is his Crappy Caddy. I think it might actually run, whereas the peesa-crap truck's battery is still dead. Take special note of the tie-down that's keeping the trunk closed:

If there's anyone out there that thinks that rednecks don't live in Los Angeles, they need to meet Beavis. The only difference between him and a Deliverance character is that I think Beavis has more than one tooth.